Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Pregnant, alone and ignored by him and his family

Aslamualikum,

Pregnant woman depressed

I am a convert living in Asian country.Last 6 years I met a guy online from gulf country.He came here and we date but ofcourse I don't know at all about haraam or whatever. Then he bring Islam to me. He told me to fast in ramdhan. I was interested as I was young and Islam answer life questions correctly. I studied for 2 years so I was sure its my faith then I convert Alhumdulillah. He propose me after that I told my parent then he said later he can't married any other country its illegal..but it was too late everything was prepared so we had done nikah. But the problem was he din't tell his family about me at all! He lied to me. After marriage he had changed completely, it make me so confused he was so good with me when I was out of Islam but when I am a wife and religious he hates me.

Anyway later I got pregnant and found out he cheat on me with a woman in his country. So from my sense I call her n told her he is married then she left. And finally things go worse as now my prenancy is 33 weeks. He left me completely every connection for 2 weeks now. So I try to contact his family. Before he beg me not to tell his family because he said for his parent. But since I talk to everyone in his family..everyone ignored me no one help..he doesn't talk to me.

I don't know how he talk to them. Everyone on his side..I just feel so suffering and no one to turn head to..as my father pass away 3 months ago..and my mum is angry with me about my marriage is failed..
Anyway during these 6 years relationship he came to me every 3 months and stayed 2-3 weeks as he can get vacation..
Now I'm 26 years old and no job..before he was taking care of everything..now he just stop I'm so stress because I and baby will be in trouble. I don't understand they are muslim family. Hornour is more important than 1 innocent life?
I prayed 5 times and my labour time is getting closer..so I still trying to contact them even is ignored. If not then I and baby will not have anything to eat..
What can I do more? Anyway I contact this country embassy in my country I wrote a letter but again same I was ignored..

ANYWAY I JUST COME TO EDIT THAT HE HAD EMAIL TO ME HE DIVORCE ME 3 TIMES..IS IT VALID? IT WAS HURT BUT I ACCEPT ID ITS VALID CUZ HE IS NOT HAPPY WITH ME ANYMORE..

MORE QUESTION IS WHAT ISLAM N AL QURAAN SAID ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENT TO CHILD AS MY COUNTRY LAWS IS UNTIL CHILD TURN 21 YEARS OLD..BUT HE IS NOT MY CITIZEN SO WHAT I COULD SAY TO BRING HIS MIND THINK OF HIS BABY AND HELP ME IN FINANCIAL SUPPORT..

JAZAKALLAH

-Warisa


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40 Responses »

  1. As salamu alaykum, sister Warisa,

    I have a few questions, was your marriage legal?, do you have your marriage certificate?, if you do, go to your local Iman and ask him about the divorce, I don´t think this is legal but he will advice and guide you.

    The father has to support you financially with your child.

    In case you are not married legally or even if you are, but he dennies his duties, you should go to a lawyer and fight for it( some countries if you go to a Social Assistant, they will explain and help you to have a free lawyer, food, shelter,....)They will ask for a DNA test to prove the fatherhood and he will have legally to undertake the terms of the sentence once is proved he is the father and the judge approve the conditions you claim for.

    This will take a time, if your mother helps you with your baby, don´t feel frightened, you are young and healthy, you can find a job and maybe a couple of hours a day, enough to survive and be with your child. You will see all the strength that you feel when you have your baby in your arms.

    All my Unconditional Love,

    María
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Assalaamu alaykum Sister,

    In this situation, best is to ask Allah for help and He will help you most surely if you pray to Him.

    Also, try to get support from the local Muslim community, relate your case to an Imaam in the nearby mosque and ask his advice about both Islam and local laws pertaining to your child.

    Pray to Allah that this guy realizes his mistake and turns to you. If Allah wills he will tell his family and come back to you, so pray to Allah.

    Surah 65. At-Talaq
    1. O Prophet! When ye (men) put away women, put them away for their (legal) period and reckon the period, and keep your duty to Allah, your Lord. Expel them not from their houses nor let them go forth unless they commit open immorality. Such are the limits (imposed by) Allah; and whoso transgresseth Allah's limits, he verily wrongeth his soul. Thou knowest not: it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass.
    2. Then, when they have reached their term, take them back in kindness or part from them in kindness, and call to witness two just men among you, and keep your testimony upright for Allah. Whoso believeth in Allah and the Last Day is exhorted to act thus. And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, Allah will appoint a way out for him,
    3. And will provide for him from (a quarter) whence he hath no expectation. And whosoever putteth his trust in Allah, He will suffice him. Lo! Allah bringeth His command to pass. Allah hath set a measure for all things.
    4. And for such of your women as despair of menstruation, if ye doubt, their period (of waiting) shall be three months along with those who have it not. And for those with child, their period shall be till they bring forth their burden. And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, He maketh his course easy for him.
    5. That is the commandment of Allah which He revealeth unto you. And whoso keepeth his duty to Allah, He will remit from him his evil deeds and magnify reward for him.
    6. Lodge them where ye dwell, according to your wealth, and harass them not so as to straiten life for them. And if they are with child, then spend for them till they bring forth their burden. Then, if they give suck for you, give them their due payment and consult together in kindness; but if ye make difficulties for one another, then let some other woman give suck for him (the father of the child).
    7. Let him who hath abundance spend of his abundance, and he whose provision is measured, let him spend of that which Allah hath given him. Allah asketh naught of any soul save that which He hath given it. Allah will vouchsafe, after hardship, ease.
    8. And how many a community revolted against the ordinance of its Lord and His messenger, and we called it to a stern account and punished it with dire punishment,
    9. So that it tasted the ill effects of its conduct, and the consequence of its conduct was loss.
    10. Allah hath prepared for them stern punishment; so keep your duty to Allah, O men of understanding! O ye who believe! Now Allah hath sent down unto you a reminder,

    Whether he meets you or not, whether he comes back to you or not, but Insha Allah trace him up, tell his family about this and also tell him that Allah sees everything, Allah is not unaware of his actions.

    I don't know how "selectively and conveniently" people use Islam, do nikah and forget the duty of a husband?

    What was the need for nikaah if he did not want to keep the relation?

    Where you keep it upto yourself or take revenge, Insha Allah, Allah will surely teach him a lesson.

    Sister, you should read the Qur'an now and eat well and keep yourself mentally and physicall strong. Insha Allah, Allah will provide for you, Insha Allah "after hardship Allah will give ease".

    6. And there is not a beast in the earth but the sustenance thereof dependeth on Allah. He knoweth its habitation and its repository. All is in a clear record. - Surah Huud.

    Your situation is sad, provokes anger against the guy, but I am not worried because I know Allah provides for His slaves and He will surely make provision for you as well.

    Life may not be as simple and easy, but after hardship, Insha Allah, Allah will bring ease.

    Salaam,
    Your brother.

  3. Assalamualykum,
    Thank you sister Maria M and brother Munibb for answering. I read answer twice now
    and will keep reading it. I keep praying and duaa for my healthy baby.

    About marriage it was done right nikah but not legally.
    There is marriage certificate but notlegally as his country embassy didn't improved.
    I was specialist in hospital(physio therapist) once I am healthy n go back to work I will takecare of baby by myself.

    But it's just will be difficult in early stage. Last 3 months my father and brother pass away. So my mother just in very hard time to accept so I don't disturb her cuz now she is still have very much anger with this man leaving me and angry with me also she said I brought bad guy to family and now he is not responsible.

    It is same old thing why he kept hidden me to parent. Cultural, gossip the sake of community.
    His parent wants him married his cousin or someone family's friend in business.
    It was hard to understand but now atleast I know it's not Islamic but family's honour.
    Still difficult to understand this honour stuff.

    Last week he email me calling my unbron baby 'that boy'.
    And said ' will make that boy hate u when he grow up if you still try to concern him to me'
    It happen when I email him to ask for his abligation.
    It is hurt deeply to hear that. Now I just stop email him because whenever he reply something it cause my tears..whatever he will not help me for baby if he help me its just because he doesn't want me to continue keep contact with anyone around him.

    And he will never come back. Maybe I don't know only Allah knows.
    But in my heart just can never forgive him anymore.
    He said he hates me he hates baby but..yes deeply I love him so much.

    Now he already chose his family so soon he will get married again
    as his parent demand so I tried hard to ask him for obligation now because if that happen my baby will be forgotten. I feel unfair and confused.
    Now Alhumdulillah because I studied in Mosque for a year before convert so I have muslimaa friends who help me by being with me at night in emergency case I dont have to be alone at night.

    I just really little wish love from his family to my baby not me.
    But its just hopeless. During wakeup I feel so lonely so seeking for help.
    I din't tell a friend my situation cuz I know myself cannot answer thier question right now.
    The wedding reception was big upto 400 guests but none from his side. Everyone in my life know I am married. Realtions,friends think Im happy but the fact Im facing is real hurt.
    No one can answer my cunfused mind better than here. Most of people around me they r not muslim. Islam is not main religion in my country.

    Once he also said he shouldn't bring me to Islam.
    Everything about me seems so bad in his eyes.

    Thank you again for answering..
    I would keep reading Al Quraan.

  4. my mother used to shout on me she hates this baby.
    And the man also used to shout on me in same word in difference time.
    It seems like my mother n my sis doesn't like the baby cuz there is another half from this man.
    And this man and his family does't like the baby because another half is from me.
    So dont know what to do I'm so stress and confused.

    Sometime I feel to take revenge but sometime just dont want anything at all.

    • Assalamu alaykum Sister Warisa,

      May Allah make your way easy and give you strength to live in goodness and be a good Muslima life long.

      When I was stressed, I found comfort in reading and obeying these verses of Surah Taa Haa:

      130. Therefor (O Muhammad), bear with what they say, and celebrate the praises of thy Lord before the rising of the sun and before the going down thereof. And glorify Him some hours of the night and at the two ends of the day, that thou mayst find acceptance.
      131. And strain not thine eyes toward that which We cause some wedded pairs among them to enjoy, the flower of the life of the world, that We may try them thereby. The provision of thy Lord is better and more lasting.
      132. And enjoin upon thy people worship, and be constant therein. We ask not of thee a provision: We provide for thee. And the sequel is for righteousness.

      Keep praying to Allah for all good and ask Him to send peace of reassurance upon your heart, Insha Allah.

      Salaam,
      Your brother.

    • As salamu alaykum, sister Warisa,

      You have many that love you around you, I feel their love in you, forgive your mother and sister in their ignorance and thank Allah(swt) for the blessings of your motherhood and the blessings of having the opportunity to be able to work and take care of him, you have everything in your hand, Alhamdulillah.

      Forgive your husband and his family but fight for your baby rights, even if the marriage is not recognized, you can ask for your babies rights, talk to a lawyer he will explain to you better than me, try first with the social assistent and she should guide you as I told you. I don´t like to use the term fight but in this case you need to do it, because you will be teaching and advicing others not to fall as you did, your baby is a blessing that will give all the strength you won´t ever think you had inside of yourself, if someone is able to move a mountain with her hands that is a mother(exeptions exists but this is not your case) or a father (exeptions exists) to protect their babies

      Be strong in Allah(swt), He(swt) knows and listens all.

      From Heart to Heart,

      María
      IslamicAnswers. com Editor

  5. Thanks again for replying..I am just not sure if lawyer can do it cross the country. If embassy can call him to court here. Today he said will give me support for few months for food and shelter but I have to write down on my passport copy that I will not concern to him at all after this. So I said No then he said if I do anything to him he will pay back harder..
    I feel so much depress inside..
    I'm just not able to do anything and cant continue more bills next month.he doesn't care
    because he want to give support to exchange with keep my story hidden forever.

    He doesn't have or aware about baby in his mind.
    He cares something I don't know what maybe his new woman.

    Stress increasing day by day.

    • Assalamu alaykum Sister,

      You are a Muslim right?

      So leave your worries to Allah. Submit your matters to Him and wait and watch what comes your way.

      Keep Sabr sister. Sabr is required in times of stress. No one will ask you to keep Sabr in moments of enjoyment, because they are meant to enjoy, but in times of stress, Allah's slave keep Sabr, they wait for His command.

      If Allah wills, He can give you this guy back at this moment, He can enrich you with wealth you cannot count, but you should know that life is test from Allah, you have to utilize this oppurtunity to gain the rich rewards of aakhirah.

      Sabr brings you Jannah, do you know that Sister?

      Wa jazaahum bimaa sabaruu jannatanw wa hariira - 12. And hath awarded them for all that they endured, a Garden and silk attire; - Surah Al Insaan.

      Send him the verses of Surah At Talaaq, which I posted in my first reply to you above on this page. Whenever he talks with you, ask him that if he believes in Allah, if he believes in raising up on Qiyamah and that he will have to answer Allah for leaving you, does he believe in Qur'an also?

      Does he care to know what Allah says? Ask him these questions and leave him with this Surah to think about. Only Allah's revelation and guidance can change a heart by His will.

      1. O Prophet! When ye (men) put away women, put them away for their (legal) period and reckon the period, and keep your duty to Allah, your Lord. Expel them not from their houses nor let them go forth unless they commit open immorality. Such are the limits (imposed by) Allah; and whoso transgresseth Allah's limits, he verily wrongeth his soul. Thou knowest not: it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass.
      2. Then, when they have reached their term, take them back in kindness or part from them in kindness, and call to witness two just men among you, and keep your testimony upright for Allah. Whoso believeth in Allah and the Last Day is exhorted to act thus. And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, Allah will appoint a way out for him,
      3. And will provide for him from (a quarter) whence he hath no expectation. And whosoever putteth his trust in Allah, He will suffice him. Lo! Allah bringeth His command to pass. Allah hath set a measure for all things.
      4. And for such of your women as despair of menstruation, if ye doubt, their period (of waiting) shall be three months along with those who have it not. And for those with child, their period shall be till they bring forth their burden. And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, He maketh his course easy for him.
      5. That is the commandment of Allah which He revealeth unto you. And whoso keepeth his duty to Allah, He will remit from him his evil deeds and magnify reward for him.
      6. Lodge them where ye dwell, according to your wealth, and harass them not so as to straiten life for them. And if they are with child, then spend for them till they bring forth their burden. Then, if they give suck for you, give them their due payment and consult together in kindness; but if ye make difficulties for one another, then let some other woman give suck for him (the father of the child).
      7. Let him who hath abundance spend of his abundance, and he whose provision is measured, let him spend of that which Allah hath given him. Allah asketh naught of any soul save that which He hath given it. Allah will vouchsafe, after hardship, ease.
      8. And how many a community revolted against the ordinance of its Lord and His messenger, and we called it to a stern account and punished it with dire punishment,
      9. So that it tasted the ill effects of its conduct, and the consequence of its conduct was loss.
      10. Allah hath prepared for them stern punishment; so keep your duty to Allah, O men of understanding! O ye who believe! Now Allah hath sent down unto you a reminder,

      - Surah 65. At-Talaq

      Allah has already given the judgement in the Surah in verse 8 and 9, so if he is of those who believe in Allah and His revelations, Insha Allah he will come back. If he disbelieves, then the consequence of his conduct will be loss.

      Salaam,
      Your brother.

  6. may Allaah keep you firm sister and guide you and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall your loved ones

  7. Dont let him bully you. If he is from the Gulf then by LAW your child has rights.
    It is a citizen of this country. I dont know how but if your county or lawyer can aproach the embassy and force him to have a DNA test then by law your baby is protected.
    It has an able government to take care of it and you as its mother.
    Do not let him scare you.
    Get your rights through the human rights
    through a lawyer
    through the embassy
    Have your baby brought and raised here in the Gulf

    Shame on him to cheat and use you especially harming our religion by being such an awful example. YOU show him how you are a better muslim, raise your child to be a better muslim

    If you do that one day his family will thank you and aplogise, probably in this life, abd surely in the after life when Allah will punish them for turning their back on their own flesh and blood.

    You have to be a good example prove how you are a good woman and a good mother. Get your legal rights , bring your baby up in its home country and be the best you can be for your baby and yourself

    Again i remind you , your baby by DNA is a Gulf citizen with rights than no one can take away, fight for your rights dont let your family cloud your path or mistreat your baby. You are now the only family it has.

    Do this and Allah will protect and guide you

  8. His threats are as stupid as he is, dear do you think by signing in your passport copy that that will give him any legal right to subjugate or threaten you?
    NO, he cant do nothing, zilch, de nada! The only thing he can do is play on your mind with intimidation and as for his threat he cant harm one hair on your head and he KNOWS it. This is why he was asking you if you will harm him.
    He has no blood in his veins you are carrying his child, he should be treating you with respect.
    The fact that he doesnt care about his own flesh and blood makes it all the more reason to take it out of his eye if you can.
    I hear about this everyday, men here in the gulf getting asian women pregnant then according to what i heard from one source so i cant be accurate unless i get this officially checked, but i heard that these women get deported WITH their babies whom should be protected by the state. Now there are two explainations
    1- they werent married and therefore the union is illegal because once born the marriage certificate must be produced to register the child.
    2- if they had DNA tests the babies were not the children of the man the woman claimed he was.
    Im concered that if they are indeed the biological parents that means that they should be forced to marry the woman and prolly divorce her after but the marriage is necessary for registering the baby.
    I doubt that human rights would allow the deportation of a prooved biological child of the said countrys naional. It has social and moral rights and financial too.

    Again if your marriage paperwork is in order,and you have your witnessess, the baby is biologically his child, you dont have to be scared from his threats because they are just talk of a coward man.

    Make sure you seek legal representation, go through the embassy, have them contact him AND his family, then seek your rights, they arent his to hold, by law here they will cut from his salary and give you.

    Plus keep the threats he sent you by email thats criminal proof of harassment and threats, you can jail him with that. But dont let him know your steps. You surprise him this time.

    Allah with you

  9. Asslamualykum brothers n sisters for reply,

    yes he is believer Muslim sunni. I'm a convert. But whatever I am it seems to be
    bad in his eyes. He said I'm not good enough to him and can't bring him to heaven.
    But marrying was born muslim woman will bring him to heaven. So he just hates that
    the true we are married. When I ask him about Islam he also act as I'm stupid.
    I said I don't mean to teach a bird to fly I just want to share my view with u.
    And when I call him to pray with me then he dint. Why still I don't know but
    I guess he didn't want to pray with me cuz I don't deserve it? But i dint ask.

    He still emailling me that if he support me financial for few months after give birth
    then after that I have to Swear to Quran that if anyone ask I gave to say I don't know him
    and he doesn't know me and we never have any relationship.

    I keep praying brother Muniib and will send him this copy of surah u giving me (JazaKaAllah)
    but I don't think so he will read..for the baby he never think to concern.
    Every word he talking to me just like baby is not exist.

    What should I do between take money from him few months n do sign about not
    concern him after that and find job as soon as possible.
    This way will hurt me cuz I will have short time to feed baby then have to work
    but financial during this its needed.
    Or I dont take money from him and continue my life
    but not able to pay anymore bills no shelter no food and go
    trough court process this way I will live very difficult n have to get help
    from goverment untill I can get a job.
    My friend said I dont have to pray Ishikharaah for this
    I just should duaa from Allah.
    But thats bcuz my friends think he is a good man as I never say a
    single thing bad about him.
    I dont know which is the right thing to do.

    I have witness in marriage n more than 1000 pictures from wedding.
    I also went to embassy of this country Oman. But dint get any help.
    I even made letter request to call him I made it 1 night with tears.
    But never get a single call after that.

    • Assalamu alaykum Sister Warisa,

      Only Allah knows who will go to heaven or hell, but His repentant slaves hope He will make them enter Jannah because they believe and do good deeds.

      Some people was passport to Jannah, which is not by a person or a single deed like Hajj, passport to Jannah is imaan and good deeds combined with imaan life long and turning to Allah in quick repentance when any sin is committed.

      Not wait for death and say when I grow old, I will pray salat and repent and be good. That is of no use. Such pychology is not acceptable to Allah.

      A Muslims life is life long striving. May Allah help all of us to do this.

      You may send him these verses, Insha Allah, he will read.

      These verses clearly show both of your roles, his and yours during and after pregnancy.

      May Allah ease your way, keep to du'aas, du'aas solve all problems, Alhamdulillaah.

      Salaam,
      Your brother.

  10. Warissa

    There is a human rights lawyer in England. They are phenominal.
    The problem is they charge, one more than the other, but they may take on your case pro bono. Which means that they MAY do it to just help you, I dont know for sure. But its worth a try to send them an email.
    They are very good at getting things moving by aproaching the respective embassies with influential letters that once come through a british lawyer get the attention you need.
    This may even be a form of latent pressure on the embassies to press your husband to pay you child support, and give your baby its Omani nationality, because these lawyers are known to do press releases, in your case it would be a newspaper article whereby reporters would write about your case and dig up other similar caes and this is bad press for the country. It tells the world that the government is protecting its nationals to behave atrociously marrying and impregnanting women then abandoning them, and more importantly it exposes what the government is not doing to ensure the rights of these new born nationals whom have rights to their fathers name, finances and nationality.
    I dont mean to be skeptical but this can ONLY help you if you can and are sure about the DNA, if you are not, with all due respect i cannot nor can the lawyers help, plus if you wrongly accuse the man of fathering the baby he will submit a dna test and if it comes out negative then he can then prosecute you.
    If you are sure that you can prove the DNA, have sister z contact me and i can forward her the emails of the uk lawyers officies.
    One of the lawyers is muslim. They both are exteremly compassionate.

  11. I do interested in this help. I have a friend who success in
    marrying Omani said that she is asked often about marrying
    omani citizen from woman in my country. Means number of woman
    having same problem with man from this country are increasing.

    I want to make a case that embassy ignored to us why? They said cuz this
    is pesonal problem.

    But before that as now m 35 weeks pregnant. I still have 5 weeks to go
    I hope everything going on good in delivery and my baby healthy InshaAllah
    as my pregnancy went trough much stress during these 9 months.

    And during this I want to give him a big change with my heart
    really have respect to his family n dont want to break his mum's heart.
    I will send the surah above to him and convince him again
    to takecare of his own baby.

    And I do sure DNA its him I never have single eye on
    another man during these 6years committed to him and even before
    just this man thats it.

    And I would keep update InshaAllah.
    Anyway who is sisterZ.

    • Insha Allah your problem will solve soon.

      I have hopes from Allah sister Warisa.

      Keep praying and yes, pass on the surah to him.

      Salaam,
      Your brother.

      P.S: Sister Z is one of the editors of this website from England.

  12. Warissa

    Since this man is the father the first thing that will probably be required is DNA and then on you can proceed with these human rights lawyers to seek your babys right and citizenship.
    It's very noble that you want to take into consideration his family's feelings but at this point it's not really your responsibility , I'm notvsaying be disrespectful or aggressive towards them , she is your babys grandmother and you should respect her as your own mother but after you protected your baby who is your priority at the moment. Your heart has been broken too and the guilty one is ur husband he should have taken into consideration both you and his family, not stolen trust from both sides and now walk away from his innocent baby.

    Embassies are like that, think of them as big pr organizations, they have no legal right to shun you but through them you can make a case with the public prosecutor in Oman.
    First you need a lawyer, one whom will be contacting them and the ministry of interior in Oman to press charges against your husband. The lawyers usually get the embassies to take your Childs right seriously by mentioning the press and media, it's a tad crude but this is how things get done when you need to get them done.
    No gulf country like bad press, but when the men are misbehaving and what upsets me the most when they are representing Islam in such a dishonorable way they ought to be stopped by their own governments.
    I know that you already know that as a gulf man (and our society in general) tend to assume we are better than others , because we have money and status we are entitled to down trod other people. This is so unislamic on so many levels. The men use women and I hate to generalize but women from less poorer countries allow themselves to be used or taken advantage of. But this man married you, he had a wedding and conciousky created a life that carries the genes of the people and familynhe loves. This something unacceptable on every level.
    Since it's becoming a trend that Omani men marry women there and have their babies gather up women and their childrens voices and collectively you will be heard.
    Even if you can't gather up the women similar to ur condition even withn the still quiet voice of your Omani baby you can still be heard.
    I'll email sister z the lawyers contact email as an editor here she has access to your email and can forward you the emails.
    When younwrite to them make your emails short and to the point
    Mention that you have no money but younare willing to pay from whatever you get from your husband to cover the cost of their correspondence with the embassy and ministry of interior

    Mention you are ardent on having the DNA test, thatbyou have the marriage licence
    That you wedding pictures and you have his email threats that he asked you and his baby to disappear for the price of a few months of food

    Mention that younger also being persecuted by your family (so you get their sympathy , plus it's true you mentioned that your familybhate the baby)
    Mention that there are many other women whom are being preyed on by men from Oman and the Omani government through it's embassy are choosing to not get involved and they are Denying the right of a OMANI baby that they are supposed to protect

    Tell the lawyer that youbare willing to go to the media (human rights lawyers love the media) plus the media in your case is your biggest weapon right now.

    Thats off the top of my head right now.
    If I think of something else I'll let you know and i hope sister z will be forwarding you the info soon

    Salam

  13. Asslamualykum,
    I come back very fast after keep fighting all day trough emails
    there is NOThing go trough his mind even Allah's word.
    I brough Allah n the sake of baby to talk with him
    but he confirm the same word that give him a real proove
    I and baby will be disappear from his life after few months of
    financial support.
    He needs my passport n sign my words so I don't.
    He keep calling me a thief for trying to get money from him.
    I really need it in urgent for hospital stuff but he Dont think
    at all about baby. He's only thinking about his clear future without us.

    Now I do need the lawyer n court process as soon as possible.
    My stress bringing me to suicidal idea it sometime run quickly to my head.

    Im waiting for the information
    Thanks,
    All respect.

    • You're not a thief, don't listen to his poison. Inshallah allah yahdeeh - Allah will open his heart and mind either the right way for him or the hard way.what he is doing is haram, but he doesn't realize because shaitan has taken over his mind. Inevitably one day he will wake up. But that's not your problem, you are pregnant rest and be calm, enough hurting, try to be happy you're having a baby! Mashallah, you can't see it now but this baby will be your life and Allah will open doors for you. Maybe this baby will be better for him and his family than the children he will have from his 'approoved wifes' children.
      Thanks to Allah and how you will raise him.

    • Oh yes and the sign on the passport thing he wants is called blackmail. Your mr is not very bright, he's just proven he's blackmailing you and he's doing it because he thinks that because of your background and financial situation he can. He teaches you to fast and invites you to Islam then to disfigure and mangle everything he did! You were his way into heaven.

      On a separate note, the generation nowadays is blinded by the illusion of grander and entitlement, we all end up in a cloth, our titles and names mean nothing, our wealth and society don't accompany us in the grave. The biggest and greatest trick shaitan has done in the 21'st century is trick us into believing he doesn't exist.

  14. It was him said he will not give a single penny if
    i still contact him n concern baby to him.
    He said if i want money then go to court n put a case.
    It was him first talk about court cuz he knows I cant as m heavily
    pregnant n being alone under this pressure he can guess.
    I will choose to take his money first.
    M heart broken

    • Assalaamu alaykum Sister Warisa,

      This person does not even understand Allah's word, then how can he understand your words?

      Anyways, you may seek the legal ways or you may take moeny from him for now.

      It is his duty to provide for you.

      Take money from him if he is giving and do not fight for now, please.

      It is better to take money from him then to get nothing at all by his running away by ignorning your calls, emails and other ways of communication.

      Salaam,
      Your brother.

  15. Warisa I have emailed sister z with everything you need and instructions because she has access to your email and I hope she will forward you the info shortly.
    Be calm knowing that every living creature has rigz (it's sustenance) preordained by Allah so don't worry.
    Inshallah with patients and perseverance your babys rights will be restored.
    We must take ' bill asbaab' take the reasons, we must strive in order to receive.

    I'll give you an example, saida Maryam, the mother of Jesus pbuh, she was the most purest woman on earth, daughter of Imran a prophet, before she became miraculously impregnated by Allah swt will, whe she was In the Mehraab - the temple of worship - she wouldnhave food from heaven delivered to her and when her uncle would ask from where did you get this food (food unavailable in their land) she would reply from Allah.

    When she came to deliver she was hungry, now tell me, could not Allah have delivered her food the same miraculous way as He did in the temple? Of course he could but what did Allah say?

    swt Allah said - huzzy ila alnakhl/jithe'a - shake the palm tree, you can imagine how can a palm tree be shaken by a woman! But this was ILASBAAB - the sought reason. And she did and the date fruits fell upon her.

    Allah swt did this for US you and me and all mankind to learn that we must move, take action and Allahs rizg, his sustenance, his grace will follow.

    So you contact these people may they be the asbaab for your baby, have patients and percervirance keep trying not just today always, teach your son he will take his rights too. You are being tested this is called 'ibtelaa' Allah wants to hear your prayers, not shaitans words if suicide nonsense.
    Trust me your sons rights will inshalah be restored I hope sooner than later but surely they will.

    Allahuma ajerna fe museebatna wa ikhlifna khayrun minna
    Allahuma ya jabbar Allahuma ya jabbar
    Ina lilllah wa inna ileyhi rajeoun
    Wa la hawla wall quwah ill a billah.

  16. As salam alai kum,

    Its been 4 to 5 days i have posted a comment in regards to my doubt,and i am desperately waiting for a reply,but, its very disappointed that my post is still in pending preview. I seek some suggestions,its question of my life,can i expect anyone to approve my post and put it on visible to all so that i can get some reply.. my post is: *************** (Deleted by Editor)

    I am really sorry, i mite sound very desperate but i really expect here atleast one person to understand me.

    Thanks,
    As salam alai kum

    - nehakhan

    • Dear Neha,

      I am sorry that your post has not yet been published but we have a queue of people patiently waiting for theirs to be published. I understand that to you your query is urgent, but everyone's is to them too. So I cannot justify pushing yours to the top of the queue.

      There are many similar queries to yours that have already received good answers, so it may be a good idea for you to browse through our database.

      In the meantime, remember that you are a Muslim woman and it is not Islamically permitted for you to have a boyfriend. If you wish to bring someone to Islam, start by behaving as a good Muslim yourself.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Dear sisterZ,

        If u have the lawyer information from sister Umkhawta please forward me.
        I'm stuck going to give birth without anything in my hands.
        Nothing prepared. Its difficult for me.

        Brother Muniib, its too late to take this support.
        He's already run away and ignored my communicate.
        As he thinks this is all my responsibility. Bcuz baby is his unwanted.

        • Dear Warisa,

          I shall mail it to you first thing in the morning inshaAllah as I am not infront of my laptop at the moment.

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  17. JazakAllah in advance to sisterZ

    I just can't imagine how much master mind this person can be.
    When I already said if u don't help then go court process as u want.
    Then he reply me

    'u don't have to tell me what is court process'
    ' I know about it better than you and I already plan what I will do if u use court'
    When m out from him then I know how much cruelly he is.

    Such a shock situation for me..

    • Just checked email again exactly he said ' better u dont try to teach
      me court process' sound like m stupid isn't it..
      N told me to go find another man n someone else to be
      father of 'that boy' its so heartbroken...

  18. Thank you for everyone here for helping me.
    I got all information and links.
    I'm going to try my best InshaAllah for my baby rights.

    Warisa

  19. dear sister

    Im so sorry to hear about your story and what this man has done to you!! its made me very angry that he knew you were new to islam and he acted without thinking of the consequences and then running away leaving you pregnant!! i'm going to pray for you sister!!! i really wish all the best for you and the baby!!

  20. salaam be upon you and your baby.
    Once he also said he shouldn't bring me to Islam"

    now that is absolutely out of order.

    what a pathetic misguided person he is.

    DOESNT HE KNOW THAT THE QADAR WILL OVERCOME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL who are created.

    what a jaahil.

    Allaah did not need him to guide you sister, Allaah could have guided you at the hands of any human.

    tell this miskeen to learn the Qadar and qadaa of Allaah

  21. Thank you everyone for supporting.
    I come to update situation as maybe this post will be useful to another woman.
    Later.
    If anyone fall into the same problem with me.
    I dint contact any lawyer or else yet I was absent for giving birth.
    Alhumdullilah even I gave birth preterm at 36 weeks but my son is fine now.
    He is look just cloning of his father. Every features arab side.
    I sent pictures to the man but he is not better he ignored and said he delete those of my email without opening all pictures. He is just so great in killing my feeling.

    So..I also told everyone in his family but same I got.
    Now I know why he is this type

    I finally have to accept that my son will not have father and ignored family memeber from his side.

    So..Ramdhan kareem to everyone here.
    Warisa

    • As salamu alaykum, my beloved Sister,

      Congratulations, you have your baby in your arms, Alhamdulillah. Masha´Allah, isn´t it amazing how they are like his father? You were thinking about him all the time it is normal, from now on his features will change to be a mixture between both of you and you will learn to forgive through your son´s love, Insha´Allah.
      Get stronger and enjoy your baby, when you feel better you will know what to do, Insha´Allah.

      Ramadhan kareem to you, my sweet Warisa.

      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  22. Dear Warissa

    Congratulations on the arrival of your baby. And Alhamdulla on your well being & healthy recovery.
    Im glad you updated as I was concerned about you knowing your due date was so near.

    First of all your son has Allah and so do you. Regardless of your ex-husbands negligence and heinous behavior or that of his familys. You have nothing to be ashamed of and neither does your son.
    Secondly I strongly urge you to contact http://www.dna-worldwide.com they are an accredited renowned dna center and their results are usually used in cases worldwide. They can arrange to have whats called a third part collection which they will arrange with your local hospital or clinic through a dr. The Dr will collect a painless sample taken by a swab (like an ear bud) from the inside of your cheek and your babys, just like a wipe, it collectes invisible inner cheek cells that you wont feel. Then the dr whom will be instructed by the dna center will be the one to seal and sign on it and it will be dispatched back to the UK or Germany for testing. It is not that expensive and worth the investment.

    When you get the results keep the original and get a local lawyer to start writing letters to the Omani embassy & the Ministry of Justice & the Prosecutors office and make sure they are sent by registered mail, and you must keep the registered slip and also fax it and keep the fax report. Your lawyer ought to be able to do these basic tasks for you, you just make a note of the points i mentioned to remind him in case he overlooks it.

    In the letters you must include COPIES of your wedding certificate and the witnesses signatures and a wedding picture and most important the DNA result of you and your baby. From this platform the letter must demand the following rights:-

    1- Challenge thatThe father submit his dna sample (also third party testing with an international & accredited DNA lab to make sure your ex doesnt switch his sample, bear in mind he may get any of his friends to submit so it has to be done in the prosectors office with submitting his identification, your lawyers must demand this and if possible he fly out to witness)
    2-You request for your baby and YOUR financial support (in Islam you are HATHINA, and he must pay you for raising his son)
    3-Your request for your babys registration in Oman and his Omani Passport.

    It sounds daunting but you will do all this from the comfort of your country and home, all thats requested is to get the DNA sample tested and you just need to go to the lab that the dna center will direct you to, the fee will be all inclusive. And the hire of a lawyer which im hoping the cost wont be too high, maybe you can convince him to accept payment from when your babys father starts paying child and mother support, perhaps offer him some of your part of the financial support for a couple of months while you make due with the babys part of the settlement. This way all you need to pay for now is the test and which isnt that much (I think 600 GBP) and well worth the investment for your childs identity, birthright and future.

    Know that Allah is Alhaq and the keeper of justice. What has happened to you wont go unseen or unresponded to by Allah swt and your ex husband will be punished for what he is doing to you and his baby directly by his maker.
    He is mentioned in Quraan Surat albaqarah aya 204 to 206:-

    And of the people is he whose speech pleases you in worldly life, and he calls Allah to witness as to what is in his heart, yet he is the fiercest of opponents/ enemies
    And when he goes away, he strives throughout the land to cause corruption therein and destroy crops and animals. And Allah does not like corruption.
    And when it is said to him, "Fear Allah", he is led by arrogance to (more) crime. So enough for him is Hell, and worst indeed is that place to rest!

    Last of all, and most certainly not least. Please keep to your islamic faith, you have joined us and are loved by Allah. Raise your baby close to the masjid and know that Islam teaches us the the Jannah, heaven is beneath the feet of mothers.

    • As salamu alaykum, sister,

      I don´t see your response anywhere. It has happened to me a few times, now when I write a long response, I copy it before publishing it.

      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  23. Editor's note: I am reposting this comment from "I Submit to Allah", which for some reason got diverted to the spam folder:

    Dear Warissa

    Congratulations on the arrival of your baby. And Alhamdulla on your well being & healthy recovery.
    Im glad you updated as I was concerned about you knowing your due date was so near.

    First of all your son has Allah and so do you. Regardless of your ex-husbands negligence and heinous behavior or that of his familys. You have nothing to be ashamed of and neither does your son.
    Secondly I strongly urge you to contact http://www.dna-worldwide.com they are an accredited renowned dna center and their results are usually used in cases worldwide. They can arrange to have whats called a third part collection which they will arrange with your local hospital or clinic through a dr. The Dr will collect a painless sample taken by a swab (like an ear bud) from the inside of your cheek and your babys, just like a wipe, it collectes invisible inner cheek cells that you wont feel. Then the dr whom will be instructed by the dna center will be the one to seal and sign on it and it will be dispatched back to the UK or Germany for testing. It is not that expensive and worth the investment.

    When you get the results keep the original and get a local lawyer to start writing letters to the Omani embassy & the Ministry of Justice & the Prosecutors office and make sure they are sent by registered mail, and you must keep the registered slip and also fax it and keep the fax report. Your lawyer ought to be able to do these basic tasks for you, you just make a note of the points i mentioned to remind him in case he overlooks it.

    In the letters you must include COPIES of your wedding certificate and the witnesses signatures and a wedding picture and most important the DNA result of you and your baby. From this platform the letter must demand the following rights:-

    1- Challenge thatThe father submit his dna sample (also third party testing with an international & accredited DNA lab to make sure your ex doesnt switch his sample, bear in mind he may get any of his friends to submit so it has to be done in the prosectors office with submitting his identification, your lawyers must demand this and if possible he fly out to witness)
    2-You request for your baby and YOUR financial support (in Islam you are HATHINA, and he must pay you for raising his son)
    3-Your request for your babys registration in Oman and his Omani Passport.

    It sounds daunting but you will do all this from the comfort of your country and home, all thats requested is to get the DNA sample tested and you just need to go to the lab that the dna center will direct you to, the fee will be all inclusive. And the hire of a lawyer which im hoping the cost wont be too high, maybe you can convince him to accept payment from when your babys father starts paying child and mother support, perhaps offer him some of your part of the financial support for a couple of months while you make due with the babys part of the settlement. This way all you need to pay for now is the test and which isnt that much (I think 600 GBP) and well worth the investment for your childs identity, birthright and future.

    Know that Allah is Alhaq and the keeper of justice. What has happened to you wont go unseen or unresponded to by Allah swt and your ex husband will be punished for what he is doing to you and his baby directly by his maker.
    He is mentioned in Quraan Surat albaqarah aya 204 to 206:-

    And of the people is he whose speech pleases you in worldly life, and he calls Allah to witness as to what is in his heart, yet he is the fiercest of opponents/ enemies
    And when he goes away, he strives throughout the land to cause corruption therein and destroy crops and animals. And Allah does not like corruption.
    And when it is said to him, "Fear Allah", he is led by arrogance to (more) crime. So enough for him is Hell, and worst indeed is that place to rest!

    Last of all, and most certainly not least. Please keep to your islamic faith, you have joined us and are loved by Allah. Raise your baby close to the masjid and know that Islam teaches us the the Jannah, heaven is beneath the feet of mothers.

  24. I'm coming back here with my mind going nowhere.
    In this holy month I know should concentrate to be good.
    I had tried to forgive but my mind is getting so evil.
    I feel hating the man and his family for reject 1 family member.
    And since I found out he get married again and now in Saudi then
    my head is just burnt with anger. He is not doing good to me n never do anything for his son even once. But now he's doing like he starting new life so wonderful with someone.
    What he is doing make me feel like he thinks Im a sin haraam person toward him n his family.
    He will back to his home with hapily mind after Saudi.
    But I cant control myself getting close to revenge more n more every minute.
    I start to have cursing in my mind saying'i want his dead' ' i want his family imcomplete plus unhappy life forever. If someone pass to read my this post please help what can I do.
    Im not fasting and not able to pray as Im not clean from giving birth yet.

    • You can't live in hate. You will be and you are miserable if you do.

      Please take the first huge step, that is to think about life without him. You must. I know it's difficult to not do that, but you must. IN time if you get over the hate and anger, Allah will in some shape way or form present an opportunity to marry a good man, someone who will accept you and your child and treat you very well. But it will only be on that man if you can focus 100% on his and your baby.

      Please take care and try to be patient however difficult and painful it is.

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