Numerous trials, I have been praying for death and feel suicidal.
Dear brothers and sisters, I need duas and encouragement.
I am a 28-year old female. I came to the US to study few years ago, my parents sacrificed their savings to send me here. My dream has always been to be successful and help my family.
I had a hard time in the US as money was so scarce, I used to travel three hours by bus to get to school. I would go to school, get some break to work and make money, and go back to school. It took me about 6 years to graduate.
All along, I knew this brother who was very religious and who lived in another state. We became friends, and he said he respected me so much for my sacrifices. He is an American citizen, and promised to file for my green card. We got married, and I was so happy, in love, taking care of him, and all.
I married as a virgin, but was unable to have sexual intercourse with him, as my muscles would tighten because of fear, no matter how hard I tried. This got him frustrated, and he started saying I had an evil spirit that destroyed the marriage. I asked him to file for my green card, he refused and we had numerous fights because of this. He has been having health issues, way before we got married. Well, he started saying my bad spirit was the cause of all.
I finally got pregnant, but my husband didn't behave nicely or showed love the whole time. I was going to hospitals by myself, and suffered a lot from his withdrawal. We divorced once during the pregnancy, but it was revocable and we went back together. 3 months after my son was born, he started with accusations, being mean, and withdrawn; out of desperation, I asked for divorce a second time, and he gave it to me.
I left his house with my son, staying over at a friend's house. I have been looking for a job for about 3 months, without success. I dont have papers, I am now illegal. i am heartbroken, the marriage that I looked forward and where I did my best broke like this. I have always been praying ALLAH, and my life goes to difficulty after difficulty since I was a student to now a single mom, jobless, paperless, with tons of student debt. I don't even have money to file for bankruptcy.
I can't return to my home country as my parents and family have so much hope in me. They sacrificed all for me. I am stuck here with my 7 month baby, depending on friend's help. My diploma is here, but I don't have job experience in this difficult US market. I wake up at nights for prayers, I pray a lot but I am depressed and suicidal.
I got the number of this person online who told me black magic was done to destroy me. I sent him some money for prayers, but can't even reach him now. My life is a total disaster. I have been praying ALLAH for a reconciliation with my ex-husband because I still love him, without success. Now, I am praying for death, and someone to take care of my baby. I am so tired of all these difficulties after all my trials and hardwork.
Please advise me and make duas for me.
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