Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I love a non-Muslim man

True love comes from Allah (swt) alone; rest are shaytan's whispers to trick us.

Please read this all. It is long I’m sorry.

I am 17 year old Muslim Pakistani girl. Last year, through a friend I started speaking to a non-Muslim boy who is also 17. We also met recently. He is kind-hearted, attentive, patient and he loves me very much. He has good values and morals. He is open-minded and respects my parents wholeheartedly despite the fact that they do not like him. He cares about me deeply and would like to have a future with me.

He is originally from America but moved to the UK and is enrolling himself into a University here to be closer to me. He tries to understand my Pakistani Muslim background as much as he can. In such a short space of time he has made me a better person and unknowingly brought me closer to my deen.

The only problem is that he is not a Muslim. I have led this on and one day I do wish to marry him. Only if he converts to Islam. But he refused, he is a Christian who openly accepts all religions. He explained to me that he has read parts of the Quran but doesn't feel it brought him "peace of mind". He said if he does see the truth in Islam, he will convert not for me but for himself. I respect him very much as I want him to convert for no other reason than for himself. However, what I have noticed is that he is content with his life, he doesn't feel the need to question his religion or question others, he just accepts them. This has made me very upset and I have started praying and fasting and turning to Allah for help because I feel I have nowhere else to turn.

My parents know of him as they found out that I had gone to meet him, so they have taken my phone and banned me from talking to him. I have tried to find ways to talk to him and my parents caught me. They said when I get my phone back if I try to engage in any conversation with him I will have to leave the home. I have started loving him very much and am now stuck. I know I have hurt my parents but only he can give me the happiness and the respect that no one else can. He can give me the happiness that my parents or any other person can’t.

I may only be 17 but the attachment and connection I have with him, I know I won't feel with anybody else. That is why I don't want to give up. I wanted to take this slow and work out my feelings for him before doing any sin but the circumstances have brought me to this situation.

My parents want me to concentrate on my studies and then worry about getting to know any men as long as they are Muslim and Pakistani. They slandered him because of the colour of his skin (he is black) and spoke bad of him without knowing him. This hurt me deeply and resulted in me being disrespectful toward them even after he asked me to keep an open mind be patient and respectful to them.

In a few years time, if inshallah he does convert and follows the teachings well I would like to marry him. He said he would marry me despite the religious barriers, but I find this to be impractical and I want nothing more than for him to accept Islam. The only problem is my parents have refused to get me married to anyone out with our culture but this is where my happiness lies. If my parents still don’t accept him even after he converts I have considered running away with him (I know it is impractical but I am desperate) but I am scared of losing my parents and family.

Help me please. What do I do? I can’t forget him and move on without even trying to bring him into Islam because out of everything this is what I want most. This is what will bring me peace of mind even if we do not get married in the end. How do I convince my parents to allow me to let me keep in contact with him? How do I convince him to convert to Islam? Please please please how do tackle this problem? My happiness my everything lies with him. I don’t know what to do.

fsadiq

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31 Responses »

  1. salam sister ,,
    i think u forgot to clarify something that is what is the reason u posted here..do u want us to give u suggestion on how to flee with someone who is in a extremely haram relationship with u and how u can fool your imaan by the Shaytan's magic.i m sorry but we so need to know if u want us to guide u according to islam that how get over that haram relationship or want us to help u with ur haaraam intention of fleeing ang hurting yuor parents whom u r not even allowed to say just a mere harsh word even if they r Kafir..
    so plz mention what u want..

  2. When this American boy directly tells you he has no intentions or desires to convert to Islam, why are you then so stubborn and keep on insisting that he HAS to convert to Islam? You even disrespect your parents and disobey their rules for your own desires.

    I think you're heading down a dangerous road; your parents are right in not allowing you to talk to this boy and to urge you to focus on your studies. You're 17! You have all the time in the world - inshallah - to get married and live life as a married woman in. But you're only a young girl with no responsibilities but herself for a very short period of time! Why don't you enjoy it by excellencing yourself in school? By making sure you get in to the best Universities in a few years? By occupying yourself with things that you enjoy to do? Hang out with your (female) friends and have fun with them? Trust me, in a few years, you'll only see your friends by chance once every 3rd year, if that - because everyone will be busy with their own lives, maybe their new marriages and family life...or maybe you just drift apart - it happens. So focus on enjoying the time you have with your friends NOW. And most importantly, try strengthening your relation to God. It's not acceptable for you to disrespect your parents. You're lucky you have parents who do right by you by only taking your phone away and give you warnings. Don't take that for granted, sister!

    You're not going to believe me now, but in 10 years, you will not even recognize your 17 year old self :). You'll have more life experience and you'll have a better idea as to what is right and wrong. Clearly, you have no clue now. Please listen to your parents. They're not doing anything wrong by you at all!

  3. I don't believe how can you say that no one can give you happiness but only him?? You forgetting sister that your mother gave you birth she carried you 10months in her womb she gave birth she feed you and you comparing with a guy who is not even Muslim and you in haram relation to your parents?????

    Running away????? You out of your mind?? You talking like a movie script. In real life it's not easy for a girl to take such a path specially which Allah hates most. 

    Sorry for my rude words but trust me I am boiling inside sister don't ruin your life your life not even started, married life is not that easy nor fun the way you thinking. Today you thinking running away is the answer and you will get married to him but in Islam your married won't be even valid because your wali has to be your father. So tell me you want to marry which won't be even valid??? 

    I think you should forget all about this try to focus in your studies pray your 5times prayer, read Qaran And ask for forgiveness from Allah. 

  4. Aoa

    Dear Sister , I understand your situation.The thing you are experiencing is infatuation.
    Now carefully listen to this.You have actually made urself trapped in a situation where you have disobeyed Allah.Allah loves you more than any1 else.Believe this.So Allah SWT wants YOU to come back to him.Your situation is where you have to choose between two degrees of pains.The pain you'll experience by quitting this relationship NOW or the pain much greater in magnitude when you'll realize the failure of ur relationship.
    Please my dear sister , I say this of experience.Just go through this website and you'll find hundreds of stories of innocent girls like you who suffered bcz of relationships outside marriage to the point that they considered suicide as an escape.90% of cases have identical starts to yours.
    I know that leaving this relationship is going to be one of the hardest things you'll have to do.But please,save your life now.It always starts from a boy who cares so much about the girl ,shows her kindness,affection.He'll make you feel loved , valuable,adored and what not.The end is always a break up.Planning a marriage at 17 years old with some one not of your culture , religion and most importantly someone ur parents are against ,is not sane.It's a sophisticated insanity.

    My dear sister , as a Muslim you have a strong faith in Allah SWT,Don't you ? Offcourse you have.How can you take Allah SWT out of the picture in the story of your life ? You fully understand that what ur doing is not pleasing Allah.So how can this end well ? How can ur story be a " happily ever after " if it's not pleasing ur Master ? Think about it.Furthermore , you cant think of converting someone to Islam when you yourself are not following it completely.Can you ?
    My beloved sister ,I say it again that it's difficult to let go.You need to muster loads of courage to let him go.But it's worth it.For your future.For your future in this world and Aakhirah.As a hadith says :
    "Whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah,Allah replaces it with something better than it."
    I'm sure Allah SWT has huge amounts of happiness and reward in store for you if you leave the guy for Allah's sake.Dont assume that the guy for you is the end of the world.It's NOT difficult for Allah SWT to bless you with a husband in a halal way who loves you even more than that guy does.Who actually treats you like a princess.And most importantly you love him from the core of your heat.It's not heavy upon Allah.These are not fairy tales I'm telling you.Real bliss of love rests in a halal marriage.

    Now,coming to your parents.Sister don't misbehave with them.Even if you think ur right and they're wrong.Even if they're being mean with you.That not what Islam teaches.Muslim treat their parents differently than the west teaches us to do.
    I don't know if you've experienced that or not.Many a things that I thought were good for me,obviously good for me and which my parents opposed ,actually turned out not so beneficial in the end.
    If you keep a relationship against the will of Allah adding to that the disagreement of your parents . my sister,the results in the end are not going to please you much.Chances are that you be devastated.That's why Islam keeps parents so special.There's that special some kind of sense in them which senses that what is good and what is not for their kids.Mostly the kids are not ready to pay much attention to them until the kids suffer.
    I can feel it for you , the intense feeling of infatuation ( love what you call ) for that guy is making it seriously difficult for you to follow what ur parents say.But I guess that's why they call life a test.You got that guy on one side and parents on the other.I say-go for the parents.This bitter step you'll take will manifest its sweetness later on in ur life.
    And OH MY GOD , plz never ever never ever never ever even CONSIDER to run away with that guy.I mean are you serious ? Why are you playing with ur life my dear sister.Dont think that you've figured out the world.It's a nasty place to be in.I know the mentality of your parents.I know how typical Pakistani parents think because I myself,am a Pakistani.And therefore I now that if you further move ahead in this relationship,you'll devastate them.They have attached thousands of hopes with you.Plus they wont be able to even show their faces in the circles they move in if you fail them.

    And please take this concept out of your mind that you cant love no one else in the world as you do this guy and no one else would love you as he does.Your happiness is from Allah.And Allah SWT didnt tie you entire happiness and peace of mind with some guy.He place the peace of heart in His remembrance.Try it.

    If at all say , that all your SINCERE efforts to quit this relationship fail you then there's only one option you've got.One halal and practical option Im talking about.Convince your parents.Be open with them.Consider them your only well wishers on the entire planet.Cry your heart out to them.Let them know your feelings.Try again if you fail to relate with them once.
    But...*sigh*
    I really dont think that ur parents would agree at any cost to marry you for your entire life with a non muslim black guy.This just doesnt go on with Pakistani parents.They cant even imagine that.They've always thought of a handsome,decent,well educated Pakistani guy for you.It's even hard for them to even imagine such a scenario.

    Sometimes life brings you to a point where you have to take some of the bitterest decisions to survive.And you have to now.The worst thing you can do to urself is meeting the guy in private without ur parents knowing.That's not what muslim girls do.This is what Islam allows you to do.It's totally unacceptable and I tell you that such meeting will only create more emotional and psychological issues for you.You'll have to kill ur conscience and betray ur parents to do that.Please dont do that my dear sister.Just dont.No matter how strong the urge is.Plz dont ! Seek help from Allah SWT to drive you in the direction HE wants.In stories of innocent girls like you , pain and heartbreak in inevitable if the situation is not managed initially.

    I guess , I couldn't open the picture more than this for you.I feel so low when I come across stories of girls repeatedly suffering after such relationships.Initially the guy is so loving , so adoring , so caring.Make her laugh ,makes her feel special.Promises her a bright future , promises to marry her.In some cases Ive read that they both sorted out names for their future children,finally the broke because one of them got interested in someone else.(Both were 17) ...So this stuff goes on until finally the girl or the boy gets interested in somebody else and the other is shattered and broken to pieces.It's just so common these days.All it happens just bcz we pay no heed to what Allah SWT has ordained for us.Just blindly we follow our desires..and then finally we suffer.
    The only thing that can assure you that the guy wont leave you ever is that ur the most beautiful girl on the planet.lol.Really !
    Because the guy only loves you bcz of your beauty.Doesn't he? And further in his life if he finds someone that he thinks is more beautiful and attractive,charming and loving than you,why won't he leave you? Even if he had made a hundred promises to be with you forever,he wouldnt care.Just because the urge and the lust for that other girl would be so strong and beyond his control.This was just a hypothetical situation I put for you.That is what always happens.Whoever puts his blind trust in anyone except Allah SWT ,suffers.

    May Allah guide you dear sister.May Allah SWT make it easy for you and make a way out for you and bring you closer to Himself.Ameen

    • Abdallah your words are so dearly spoken like that of a father to this young lady. No harsh words no judgments masha Allah. Reading this it felt like a loving and caring parent advising their daughter whom they care so much about. I pray to Allah (S.W.T) that this young girl listens to your advice. No man will ever love you like Allah loves you. And no man will ever love you like your parents love you. I hope she listens amin. Because going against Our Lillah and our parents is the worse mistake we can ever make in pour lives. May Allah (S.W.T) in His Infinite Mercy guide us all to stay on the right path and avoid the glittering temptations that serve to lead man astray amin.

      • Jazak Allah sister Amilah.
        This sister has recieved comprehensive and touching advice from all brothers n sisters here.May Allah help her to benefit the most from it.

        • I'm sorry but I seriously dont think culture should matter when it comes to marriage.
          Not so much anyway, as long as he follows his deen correctly and fears allah then thats all you need 🙂

  5. Assalaamualaikam

    Firstly, sister, it is not appropriate for a Muslimah to be engaging in private contact with non-mahram men, so you need to ensure you are avoiding this.

    You say that this man has insisted that he does not wish to accept Islam, which immediately means it is not appropriate to consider marriage to him. Marriage is a serious commitment to building a life together and inshaAllah raising a family - it needs to be carefully considered. Our Beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) advised that our priorities when looking for a spouse should be deen and character. Without these, the foundations for a marriage cannot be strong. Even though he says he would respect all religions, there are things that a husband and father would need to do in Islam, that he would not be able to do, including raising any children as Muslims.

    We cannot force people to accept Islam and a conversion for marriage only would not be valid - a Muslim needs to truly believe and love Allah. If this man does not want to accept Islam, you will need to accept that, and that marriage would not be possible.

    It is hard to give up something that you value, but remember that whatever we give up for the sake of Allah will be replaced with something even better. In the meantime, concentrate on your studies and your faith, and rebuild your relationship with your parents - they love you dearly and this will be worrying them a great deal.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  6. As-salamu Alaykum, Sister,
    You have already received a lot of good advice, and I am not sure I have anything more to add. Consider this, though. There are so many interesting people on this planet. People in general (regardless of religion) may be very smart, kind, generous, understanding, charming, and attractive for their positive qualities...but we can't marry all of them. We have to use filters in order to find the one whom we will spend our lives with. As Muslims, we have certain filters that we must apply, religion being the most important.

    It's kind of like when you have to book a flight. You go to the airline's website and choose the flight that meets your specifications. If you need to go to a business meeting on July 20th, it won't do you any good to choose a flight that leaves on the 21st, even if that flight is cheaper, takes less time, and serves halal food. Your primary goal is to get to the meeting on time, and you can't do that if you don't stay focused and choose the right flight.

    If you want to have success in your married life, you need to stay focused and adhere to certain standards when selecting a spouse. Some of these standards (such as nationality) may be flexible, but others (such as religion) are not. Do not underestimate the importance of your parents feeling at ease with your spouse. If you desire harmony in your life, you need to keep the lines of communication open with them and remove the thought of running away from your mind.

    Consider your own personal filters. After religion, what is most important to you?

    Finally, accept that you cannot convert someone to Islam against his will, and it is not your job to convince this person to embrace Islam. You would actually make a much stronger statement by cutting off ties with this person. If he is truly interested in you and Islam, this may prompt him to study the religion on a deeper level...but I would not count on this. Right now, you are stuck in an endless loop with no way out, but if you give this up for the sake of pleasing Allah SWT and your parents, you will be surprised at how things have a way of working themselves out.

    • Interesting analogy, Amel. Similarly, our grand destination is Jannah Insha'Allah, and in choosing a marriage partner we must choose one who will help us reach our destination.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Right, and I think it is also safe to say that:

        1. We don't want the extra baggage of our sins to weigh us down on this journey, and
        2. We should choose the easiest, most direct route to our destination, without allowing unnecessary complications or obstacles to get in our way.

  7. Salaams,

    You said: "The only problem is that he is not a Muslim". That's the only problem that matters, really.

    When I was 17, I was in love with someone I thought was perfect for me. We even had the same beliefs at that time. We went on to get engaged when I was in college, and I thought life would be ideal. What I started to see is that he had some serious flaws in his character- important ones that were dealbreakers for me. I broke our relationship, but I continued to "love" him for many years after that, even when I ended up marrying someone else. For most of that time, I also believed I would never care about anyone like I cared about him.

    I found out in time that he had become an atheist. He got into a motorcycle accident one day and was lying on the side of the highway going into shock, and none of the passing cars stopped to offer help or call the police. He passed out and ended up walking to a phone when he came to. This event apparently made him conclude that God didn't care for him and made him a disbeliever altogether. After I came to find that out, I realized I had been the lucky one. I could have never predicted anything like that would've happened with his faith, but clearly God knows who are His and whose are Shaytan's.

    Now, 20 years older and wiser than what I might have known at 17, I can tell you that nothing plays out like you think or see at that time. There is so much more to life and love, and yes people can fall in love more deeply, more intensely, even at 40, 50, 60. There is a lot of hope for finding someone more suitable for you, so there's really no valid reason to hang on to someone who was never meant to be for you. A lot of what is keeping you going are lies, so if you can start telling yourself the truth -that following Allah and finding a pious Muslim husband is more important than catering to your immediate needs to feel fantastically in love- then in shaa Allah He will give you both :).

    By the way, I agree with all the measures your parents are taking about this. If you cannot discipline yourself, it's their job to fence you in until you are able to make the right decisions on your own. So what you hate the most right now, is really the thing that will bring you the peace and freedom you want.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Fascinating story sister Amy, thank you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Allahu Akbar! All the responses to this young girls dilemma are amazing. So many rich and truthful responses. She is a very lucky girl to have all this great advise at her disposal. I hope she listens amin. My mom always tells me "what good does it benefit a man to gain the whole world and loss his soul to the devil?" Honestly, NONE at all. For this world is just a journey and the provisions we make here is what we will use in the next life which will be eternal. No delight, no pleasure, no surprise, no love is ever going to be close or beyond that which we get from Allah (S.W.T). He loves us more than our mothers, fathers, children and everyone else. I hope we all learn to love Him more and follow the guidance which He has sent forth amin. Allah's blessings to you young lady and I pray and hope that you do what is right for you life is too short to gamble...

    • Thanks Amy! I'm touched by your story. I've been madly in love with this person who abhor's me while I'm still glued to her. I guess life provides us questions in various shades of horrible. Thanks again.

    • I was thinking about this story today. Allah actually DID save the young man. To be able to walk away from a motorcycle accident is a rare thing. It was not Allah who failed him, it was human beings. I wonder why people are so quick to blame Allah for the failings of human beings, then when something goes their way they attribute it to good luck or to their own efforts.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. Assalam alaikum,
    Dear Sister,

    Perhaps more dangerous than not knowing, is thinking that you know. Currentlly, you think you know what is the best so much so that you are ready to transgress the limits and rules of Allah swt just to get what you want. You actually believe that what you are doing is right, and not wrong.

    Sister, can you for a moment imagine who happy and satisfied shaitaan feels in having victory over you? Is that what you want? I am sure you don't and I'm sure you are much smarter than this.

    Please listen to the advice here and listen to your parents. You can either become wise without going through the pain or you can gain wisdom by losing many things which are invaluable, like your faith and belief in Allah swt.

    First, stop communication with this boy and apologize to your parents.
    Begin to study Islam and follow the rules - including respecting your parents.
    Do not communicate with any non-Mahrams (Muslim or not).

    In a way, you just want permission to carry on with your decisions--no one here will support you on that. So, please take heed and save yourself and protect yourself.

    May Allah guide you and protect you, Ameen.

  9. Dear sister,

    Its the right time to seize ur attraction towards him...

    No matter what advice's u get from the world, eventually u gonna do what your heart says.... Let me brief your near future with him and without him...

    If u get involved with this american dude and marry him, first few months u will be very happy, flying high with the rainbow and later u will start fighting over small issues and then u will miss ur parents and those wonderful days spent wid ur Muslim family and friends......Trust me! u will miss every single thing you are now willing(or planning) to leave for this guy......however, u will try very hard to save ur marriage but it wont last long (that's normal with most of the men to look for new love again).....This guy who doesn't know abt islam will not care abt any paki wife, rather he would choose an american wife in future, coz its nothing strange for our western dude's to switch wife's......

    If u avoid him NOW, u will feel depressed for few weeks maybe months, coz u must be definitely feeling that hez the last guy on earth that ur heart would beat for... that happens with everyone who falls for someone, but time shows us how damn stupid we were in our past relationship (blind trust, blind love, impractical fantasies, dreams abt bright future with immense happiness and always in love, world under ur feet and many more things which makes you smile in urself) ....... U need to realize that its not this guy who made u closer to God, its God Himself, its not this guy who makes u happy, its God Himself who gives u happiness. Hez the creator of ur parents, urself and this guy, so try ur best to kill ur hearty desires and follow the light of Allah, then prioritize ur parents who are ur caretakers and guardians, and then finally ur love filled heart which is enslaved by something which is sure not a slave to God and that will make u a better person .... Practical life is different that what you think it would be in future.

    May Allah guide you... ameen

    Good luck

  10. Assalaam alaikum sister.
    I don't know who you are, but you made me drop my tears. You made me cry really. I even don't know how I should tell you.

    But I promise you one thing, if you stay away from forcing your relationship to him and concentrate on making relationship with Allah you will be happy. Am not saying you do not love him, but we need peace from love not risks. This is a big risk, one day you will have kids to call you mother and him father, what are you gonna tell them if they wish to be like their father? Guidance is from Allah my dear not from human beings, you can't do anything to make this man convert to Islam except himself.

    I do really discourage you from going on listening to your feelings, I know you won't like to hear this but believe me this is the better thing to do :'( I really can't go on...

    May Allah protect you and ease you from this. Ameen.

    With lots and lots of love and care

  11. The thing I don't love about us humans that we listen to our heart more than our brains we ignore our brain like it doesn't care what direction it wants to guide us yet we follow our heart which mostly leads us to pain and desires that are supporting haram situations most of the time.

    sister Allah swt has gave us all a brain out there ,we may not listen to it often but w should its there for a reason, your heart may say you want him no matter what , but your brain will say its not right you already know its haram to be in a relationship especially with a non muslim , so why continue I know its hard to let go especially the ones you love but sometimes we need to follow our brains than our hearts because hearts always lead to mostly shaitan desires but our brains are clever enough to show us the right direction.

    believe in your mind than your heart and trust me you will find your right decision out there. Allah has given us a brain for a good reason most of the time so use it wisely.u need to think to yourself first that what you doing is it right and the consequences that can and cannot happen after.

    wish you all the best in your decisions and your future may allah swt guide u to the right path in shaa allah ameen.

  12. Just practice this n I hope it will help you.
    Offer Tahajjud namaz daily n bus ALLAH se ye dua karo k, "Aey ALLAH tumhe jo accha lage wo mujhe ataa kar aur TUMHE jo pasand nahi hai usse rok lay."
    practical experience of me dat Tahajjud-a solution always:)

  13. My dear pakistani sister we are all human beings no color money country race can differentiate us. But if you go with a man he is not belonging to your religion automaticaly you will accept his religion your kids will also be in his religion.

    But one thing dont believe your mind and imagination after some years it will be your great enemy. Girl life is like that whe you are free you understan nothing,when you understand realities you will be in trap. Islam teach us how to control our mind if you are going to control islam with your mind surely you are in wrong way.When time goes everything will decrease love sympathy at that time only onething before you your life if you choose your way your parents your country your allah no one will not be with you that time ..

    In my opinion from your words he will not come to islam ,sometimes he will act as a muslim after marriage he will change. You should forget him for allah and for your parents this is not real love it is a spark of a cracker surely. Marry a pakistani man how beautiful will be your life your religion culture etc..Why u choose this way and praying allah first you should remove your fault and do pray. The problem exist here not because he is black or 17 years not but you are in wrong path. U r muslim girl is loving a boy allowed in islam? No, your parents treating you because you are doing haram you are thinking different. you think thatyour parents do not like him he is black. You stand in your mother position and think ,you like to send your daughter with a man he is not in your religion culture? What is your answer.

    What is love? Love is attribute of allah it is not what you are playing the name of this game is different.

    I know when your parents oppose you will increase the love with him it is girl mind ,stupidity. Respect your parents if you want them if you dont want them you go with your mind the workshop of ibliz. You understand one more thing you told ,think abt ur parent how much they worried abt you? Why you are giving them unnecessary tensions/ you want to kill them early?

    My dear girl dont believe youe senesual organs and thoughts it will cheat you ,accept the decisions of allah he knows everything better than us.

    You are saying if he accepts islam you will ran away with him. Where you are going to ran ? To hell, from where you are going to ran? From you allah and rasool and your loving parents. You planned everything before a muslim girl planning to ran away u have no shame . You are thinking a peace life with him itwill not happen,it never happened in history. Without deen you cannot build a life. I know u cannot forget him because you dedicate your lifeand thoughts for him we are all your enemies including your parents. Be a good muslim girl do salats and do dikir a lot, don t do bad things ,what you decide with one second you cannot solve with hundred years you are lucky to get a relgion like that islam why u losing it for a simple thing, dont think bad abt parents they are loving you too much . Pls think abt ur mother how much she suffered for you atlast you are giving her a gift runaway from her? When you find a man they will become your enemies? Sister we have only one life why u r wasting like this ? Please stsay with your parents

  14. Your parents have been there since you where born you just met him! They loved you all their lives did everything for you why would they wana hurt you now? Put yourself in their shoes if you had a daughter she ran away after all these years you loved her cared for her as child how would you feel? You can never replace your parents ever think before you act your young yet

  15. dont marry him, ur parents will find a better MUSLIM man, than that fool. dont listen to anybody but ur parents, they know best!

  16. salam sister

    fast i would like tell u that u are only 17.....and itz not the perfect age to understnd all things......this age are too bad for dicission...specialy for future.....if u beliv in allah than be patient......mind it sister marriage ...born n die those 3 kind of things is not in our hand...may be there have someone on your life n ur destiny......so move on.....

    did u lost ur mind?????why dont u think so tht the person u love he dnt gave up his religion than y should u gave up ur parents n islam???dnt be fool...

    oneday u become bing a mother.....that day u realise that parents alwayz wanted to see there child to happy....but not wid bad person but wid a good person.....

    so plzz sis forget those all things....jst keep in ur mind that what u did that was a mistake and some bad dream...so wake up...and move on.....i know u cant forgot him....buh dnt try to forgot....jst say to u i have to forgot....cz someone special must come into ur life who allah make ur realtion.....

    wake up....dnt forgot ur 17 years realtion passd wid ur parents but plzz forgot ur 3 years or wtever years realtion....

    if u go away u never be live happy.....jst think if u say so u cant live widout him i must say so one day u will say wtever u done itz wrong n u cnt live widout ur parents who born u....when u cant speak n cry they understnd tht u must b hungry...whn u cry so much thy understnd u r ill......

    so plzz sis leave all those rubbish.....be with ur parents n islam....dnt be fool....if the boy say tht he cant live widout u than dnt listen him n stay wid ur parents.....dnt spoil ur life by ur own hand.....

    salam sis..

  17. I pray that he converts to Islam and Allah help you get married.

  18. Sister, I understand ur feelings cuz I have been thru this situation. To be honest no one can really say anything but u can always pray to Allah, he is the one only tht has the power and can bless him. Don't need to take anyone's opinion. One thing do not direspect ur family even thou they may be so against ur lover. Jus try to explain to them tht falling in love ain't haram. If he reverts for Allah then why shouldn't u accept him. If Allah can bless him and accept him,u should do the same. He is blessed and is more likely to go heaven and keep me on the right path of Islam. InshaAllah he reverts. Tell him to do research on Islam and I pray for u aswell tht his the one. With Asian parents they act all religious but their jus the typical religious people who thinks only their culture people are a true beliver and is right to get married to. But I personally think those who revert are more in to Islam than, most Asian Muslim boys. They hardly even pray or have Imaan. When it comes to rishta all they look out for is wealth, cast and his features. But do they go into detail about his Imaan and relationship with Allah. Am in the same situation jus praying tajhud for him inshaAllah my prayers get accepted it. Patience and faith in Allah

    • Assalamu allaikum ....
      sister ...
      well i am not the one to say dat you r wrong and the wrld is right ...cause Allah knows who is best ...in your case dont give up on your family who nurtured you ...and if you truly love him ...pray for him in your duas rather than meeting him r crying to him ....just cut of every contact or dont even see his face ....dats best for you ...Ask Allah dat if he is the one fr you den covert him islam and make your love stronger for him ...if he is not for Allah will take away the feeling you have for him ....Allah will do two things He will either give wat u want but at d crct tym ...or He will give a better one ....but remember sister ...Allah loves who repents and asks dua ....do dua ....love Allah d most ....Dua is very strong ...after all ...Allah is changer of hearts ....
      Asslamu allaikum 🙂

  19. As someone who is young as well I think you should try to move on. His reasoning is very understandable and if he ever wants to convert is Allah may have it you will meet again. He seems like a very kind person and I'd think he'd be understanding. I know you love him deeply but there will be someone who shares your faith that you will find. Allah wouldn't do you dirty like that

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