Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Molested by my father who is a Hafiz

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My father  pray five times a day, he read quran and is a hafiz. He taught so many students quran so he is meant to be religous right? He seems like a practising muslim, but then why couldn't he be a good father?  If he understands Islam so well then surely he should understand his responsibilities as a father. But no. He used to be abusive, yes physically, he beat me several times when I was young. The last time he beat me up was when I was eighteen. I recalled he beat me up and to humilate me further he got a mop and put in on face.

Yet you think this is why there is so much hatred for him in my heart but no it is because because he molested me and my sisters when we were young so innocent to understand. He used to wrestle and pins us to the floor, he used to lick our face, kiss us, he used to touch our back. Astagfirullah but I didn't understand or realised it since I was a teenager. A friend has pointed it out to my sister, she told her once occassion where my dad had pinned her down to the bed and she had felt his private part.

My friend was shocked and advised her to tell my mother but my mother refused to listen. Infact I recall she slapped my sister.  So therefore the friend helped my sister  to run away, I also wished to run away but they had convinced me that I was too young. She ran away for a month but came back. She has always been weak, but maybe it was because of my mother's prayer.

My poor mother cried and prayed for Allah so that she will return, so maybe this is why she has returned. My sister instead of supporting me she start blackmailing me that she would tell mother that I was said bad things about dad and she would tell my mother that I knew about her running away.

Can you believe how hurt I felt. I was already guilty beforehand watching my mother cry but not telling her that I knew where my sister had run away. Eventually she told my mother that I had helped her to run away, till this day I cannot forget the hurt in my mother eyes. Allah knows my intention was to protect my sister but she is so messed up she told my mum so that some of the blame is shifted to me. I mean this is how selfish my sister is. After a while it got to my dad that she ran away because of him. He says I can't believe my own daugther thinks about me in this way.

When I was eighteen this started to have a toll on me. I felt sick to talk to my father, I mean he meant to protect but he still touching me. I mean it felt like I am living every moment that he molested me.  I told my bhabi(sister in law) and she was shocked. She told me she knew about rabia but didn't think it had happened to me. She told me that father has perved on her on many occasion and this is why she keeps her distance. I was shocked on hearing this as I did not know this.

Years I have been cursing myself for thinking like this about my father, I probaby get a lot of sins I mean how can I think about my father, I used to think maybe I have misunderstood things. But when I replay things in my mind I get doubts and think no he was wrong. I told her not tell anyone and keep it as a secret. But I couldn't get over it and that night I kept thinking to myself about this and praying Allah to give me some sort of signs that if my father is wrong.  This next moring he went down and he kept touching my legs one and down. I went to the other room and started crying. When my bhabi came and saw me she immediately saw that something wrong. I told her and she flipped. She told my mother snd mother got angry. I knew she would never believe me or I believe she knows but she is in denial. She was cursing me and swearing at me.

I mean my relationship with my mother is a great one I loved her the most after Allah. She is the most important person to me in the world. And when she was angry at me and refusing to talk to me, I felt so bad. My older brother got involved and he fought with my mother. My mother refused to back down and she blamed me saying that I have a dirty thinking and that I am in the wrong. This fight lasted for few days and everybody just avoided the subject and it just brushed underneath the table.

My bhabi said that my brother would never move out because he wanted to protect me but guess what - he moved. On one occassion, I asked him to give me the money that I loaned to him, and my brother blackmailed me and said I am going to tell dad what you have been saying about me. I was shocked and I was unable to give him a reply. I was thinking few days a go you were arguing for me, how could you say that?

Now he talks to my dad as if he doesn't know what he has done to me or my sister. I don't have anyone do I? My relationships are only for name. Family meant to protect one another but I sometimes feel like the biggest enemy that I have are my family. I hate them when I think about it. However I cannot hate my mother no matter how much I try but as soon as she dies I am going to break all ties with my family.

I wanted to run away from this place but I remember when my sister run away, the pain my mother went through. I hate my dad, but I love my mother more than my hatred for him. I can't ever do that to my mother, she has gone through so much pain in her life, that I can't do that to her. I'm about twenty-two now, I have been through depression I mean I have never told the doctors about it but I have the symptoms. I have been cutting my arms, crying for no reasons, and having trouble sleeping. Alhumdullah better.

I have been ill as well, I have been collasping for no reason for two years. I have been to doctors but they can no figure it out, I have recently been to a maulvi-saab and he tell me that there is jinn. Luckily he has not possessed me but he comes and go. Due to this I had left university and been at home. But I still try to think positively of this because I believe it has brought me closer to Allah. This is because I was not praying namaaz before and now I am practising namaaz five times. Inshallah Allah will forgive me for those day where when I didn't pray.

What can I do? I feel trapped. I cannot talked to anyone about it because iI have no one to trust. I cannot even trust or confide in my sister who has been through with this herself. My own mother who I loved more than myself, does not protect me even though I know deep inside she know its true. She would always love him more than us. I do not know what to do. The other day when I was praying namaaz, he came and started kissing me on my shoulder, I was screaming inside. I mean what shall I do? My mother know everything. She sees him doing this kind of stuff, she does say so what he does that he is your father. If you think like that it is, then I have the dirty mind. I hate the fact that I have to respect him, make food for him, serve him, I mean I feel sick and weak. I mean he molested me, but yet I have to respect him because he is my father. The respect I give is fake, inside I have no respect for him at all, but I have no choice but to show fake respect.

My question is - Do I have to respect him or love him because he is my father? In Islam you are meant to respect your parents and without their blessing I would not get into heaven. I mean I do not trust him. If one day I get married I would be scared to have daughters because I would have to include my father in their lives and I feel like I would not be able to protect them, like the way I have not been able to for myself. Am I getting sins for staying here and would I get sins for cursing him which I do when I am angry. I know I am going to get sins but I don't know what I can do.

I mean, he destroyed my life, my confidence, my everything. I do not want to get married because I find it hard to trust people find it hard that someone can love me that men can be human being because I mean my dad is religious but yet he's horrible. How can I trust anyone. I mean everyone loves my dad but no one can see his real face underneath that mask. I only want to get married because I can only leave this house when I get married. Someone please give me advise as I do not have anyone to turn. I just don't want to know what to do.

~ u0904058

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53 Responses »

  1. assalamalaikum,

    Your story is very distrubing to nayone who hears and i can imagine what you have gone through-
    A hafiz is not certified person with out bad mind or character-
    actually you might have heard priests also FALL prey to satanic ACTS but with outsiders here the case is of daughters-

    And since the matter is long - in short i can say get married as soon as possible and relieve yr self from this life pattern YOUR FAMILY AND THE INMATES-



  2. Assalamualaikum,

    You have been through a lot, sister. I can underatand how it feels, when the one who is responsible for protection himself becomes a wild animal. No sister, your father is not religious, he is far far away from religion. If he is still the same as you mentioned, then he is upon the way of hell fire. The proof is the following Hadith:

    “From Abu Hurayrah, who said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah say, ‘ Verily, the first to be judged on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who had died as a martyr. He will be brought forward. Allah will remind him of the favours He had bestowed upon him and the man will acknowledge them. Then He will ask him: `What did you do to express gratitude for it?’ The man will reply: `I fought for Your Cause till I was martyred.’ Allah will say: `You have lied. You fought so that people might call you courageous; and they have done so.’ Command will then be issued about him and he will be dragged on his face and thrown into Hell. Next a man who had acquired and imparted knowledge and read the Qur’an will be brought forward, Allah will remind him of the favours He had bestowed upon him and the man will acknowledge them. Then He will ask him: `What did you do to express gratitude for it?’ The man will reply: `I acquired knowledge and taught it, and read the Qur’an for Your sake.’ Allah will say to him: `You have lied. You acquired knowledge so that people might call you a learned (man), and you read the Qur’an so that they might call you a reciter, and they have done so.’ Command will then be issued about him, and he will be dragged on his face and thrown into Hell. Next a man whom Allah had made affluent and to whom Allah had given plenty of wealth, will be brought forward, Allah will remind him of the favours He had bestowed upon him and the man will acknowledge them. He will ask him: `What did you do to express gratitude for it?’ The man will reply: `I did not neglect any of the ways You liked wealth to be spend liberally for Your sake’. Allah will say to him: `You have lied. You did it so that people might call you generous, and they have done so.’ Command will then be issued about him and he will be dragged on his face and thrown into Hell.”

    And the wording, “ So these are the first of Allaah’s creation the Fire will be kindled with on the Day of Resurrection“ Saheeh Muslim, 13/45/1905

    He pretends to be religious and people respect him, but what he actually is - his household knows better.

    If he does not turn in repentance to Allah, I am afraid he will die a sinner, and his matter will be with Allah. And He Knows Best.

    I have seen such people in Saudi Arabia. We had an Afghani man teaching kids the Arabic language and also Quran at a communities center. But he used to ask the male children to revise and take the female ones to a different room, Astaghfirullah. The girls were so little to understand but once they complained. I once caught him red handed, but he escaped.

    Another possibility is that your father has a mental imbalance and needs to visit a psychiatrist.

    Sister, you will have to protect yourself, while avoiding any disrespect toward him, as he is your father. You do not love him because of what he has done, alright. But do not shout at him or speak loudly with him. I hope you understand what I mean.

    I suggest you to appraoch a Muslim marriage bureau or an Islamic Center and seek a groom, if you do not know a religious and well charatered brother. You need not worry. Not everyone is like your father; there are many brothers who foresee the Aakhirah and work for the Jannah.

    When you get married and have daughters, protect them against your father. Never let them be alone with him at any cost. And May Allah Protect you and them.

    You said you had been to a Maulvi who said there was a Jinn. Who informed him that, except the Jinn himself? I see that he has lied. Never believe in such people, except until he does ruqyah shar'iyyah for something unusual/an ununual event.

    I feel that your mother is afraid of his oppression and supports you inactively/passively. Perhaps she fears your future. You should think about her also. Perhaps your father will oppress her after you get married. So, once you are in state to take care of yourself and a family, look after your mother also, even if it takes exposing your father and his evil deeds. Your mother may love him, but in order to proect her (that is if he tries anything evil ONLY) you should restrain him.

    Your siblings have seen selfish, and forgot you when they got out of the problem or blamed you in order to free themselves from blame. It is wrong, but siser, forgive them, and in sha Allah, our Lord Will Forgve you.

    So, to sum it all up, I advise you to get married after performing Salatul Istikhaarah whenever you find a suitable man. I pray that Allah gets you married to a man who fears Him and shall support you in earning His Pleasure. Aameen.

    Abu Abdul Bari
    Islamic Editor

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      This is definitely good advise! Sister, a lot of times marriage is the way out of family for women!

      Then you can fulfill whatever obligation you have to your father by rarely visiting him and consistently talking to him on the phone and one Yawm al Qiyamah, take all his great goods deeds for being a hafiz and appearing religious.

      Although if he is truly a munafiq, and I wouldn't care if he is, than sister you can drop whatever sins you have left on him.

      Seek help with Allah through sabr and salat(patience and prayer.)

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakato
      I am a 16 year old afghan girl and I am Muslim but I do not practice but I do want to learn more because no one ever told me the meaning of islam how the Muslim religion is and I would love to connect with some to teach me about my religion and also I had a question for whomever this may concern I was molested my dad he's a 65 year old afghan man but the things he did I don't know exactly how to act please advise me thank you so much for your time

      • Wa Alaikum as Salam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

        Sister Maryam, it is saddening to hear about your father. If you could register on our website using the links on the homepage and submit a new post with details we would be able to help you better, in sha Allah.

        As far as learning Islam is concerned, try visiting these links and learning from what you read and listen:,

        If you can read/understand Urdu, you can later try this website:

        May Allah Make you a good Muslimah and be pleased with you.

        Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  3. Salam sis
    it is so so so sad dat u r going through such a bad time in your tender age..i think u must leave home and go to a better place d luck of surpport from family is realy depressing sis may Allah make it easy for u dear ..may Allah open away out for u
    lots of love

  4. Asalamu alikum my dear sister,

    From the moment i read your email i got this sick feeling in my stomach, because I am so shocked that a father could do something like that. I am horrified at the lack of support you are getting at home. I dont know if i can do much help but i can add a few things.

    Sister, first of all- i want to say you are not possessed by Jin, you are not crying for no reason and cutting yourself because you feel like it, you are not fainting for no reason either- you are just sick and tired of abuse because your father is a monster. I will say it again and again he is a MONSTER. I am sorry, this is a big sin - incest and touching your children inappropriately is not okay by any means. Its not your fault, it has nothing to do with you, it all has to do with his sick mind and he needs help. Please forget about the people telling you that you are the guilty party (including your family)- because they are protecting his sickness and this cant go on any longer.

    The longer you stay silent and your mother (who should be protecting you!!!) stays silent- the longer he can play his preverted games. Whenever he comes to touch you, scream, I mean scream as loud as possible and call for someone to come into the room. Scream at him and say "NO, stop it-" Even if you are praying my dear, stop praying and scream NOOOOOOO- because he is taking advantage of you during prayers of which he knows you will stay silent- So DONT!

    If no one is at home, please stay safe and try not to stay alone at home with him.

    Sister, you need to speak to someone who is local to you- such as family and freinds or even a shiek in the local area who has some power over your father. I mean think like a politician, who can i trust who can be discreet but still have power of my father and cause some change?? Just speak to an adult who cares about you, because this is a serious issues and sweeping it under the rug only keeps the problem alive. For you, for your children, for you cousins, for anyone girl he has contact with. Is there a trusted uncle who lives in the area who can deal with him, or a masjid that you can go and talk to for councelling because you cannot do this alone (as you family is too ashamed to speak up).

    also, speak to your mother again, but this time come to her with documented proof. Every time he aproaches you, log it in a book to see how frequent and show the book to your mother. Keep two copies incase she asks you to rip it up, because you need it for evidence yourself. Your mother needs to wake up, because she will also be a part of the abuse if she just stays silent- she is abusing you with her silence and choosing not to protect you.

    You need to stop feeling guilt and shame for yourself and feel horror at what he is doing and do something about it.

    As for your question do i have to love him? I dont know my dear sister, but i know i wouldnt love him or respect him i dont care who he is. He is a man transgressing boundaries and needs help and i would treat him as that. Maybe when he stops the abuse you can learn to respect him, but for now dont worry about that. Just stay safe, do the bare minimum interaction and stay clear from his pervertedness.

    Also, my sister, i wan you to realize that Allah is on your side. He knows you are struggling right now, so make dua, pray that some peace comes over your home my dear and someone can support you. He is the only one with the true power to guide your father so pray very hard my sister that he stops his prevertedness. Know my dear that this is your test in life, we all get tested in different ways- and this is yours to deal with. So figure out a way, almost like a puzzle how to deal with this issues at home in a way that is pleasing to Allah. Be patient, and know that your reward in dealing justly with everyone you meet is only with Allah. I know you are brave and smart and can do this.

    My sister, dont stop your life, go to school, be happy, be busy and most of all stay away from home as much as possible until the situation is solved. Think about your future and what your dreams are and dont let this monsterous behaviour ruin your sense of who you are. You are important, you matter, dont just stew like a sad puppy at home waiting from some marriage or whatever to come and rescue you. Take charge of your life.

    And most of all, dont rush into marriage. When the right moment comes it comes, but dont just marry any man who will ask you first. Insure they are good people because marriage is life time commitment. Its not just as escape from home, but its a long tern decision that will change your life.

    In the end, keep busy, dont stay alone with your dad, scream or call for help if he aproaches you, find someone you trust and tell them everything to support you, and rely on Allah as he is the only one who can truly keep you safe from harm.

    I wish you all the best my sister, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Please talk to someone about this, its very important.

    • assalamualikum and thanks to sister Samira for the advice. Yes, you should do the above, stand and fight for your peace. Am sorry to say that there is no such commandment to stay living with your father even if he is sexually molesting you. You should even report this to authorities as such kind of actions are punishable in islam and shariah have specific rulings in dealing with it.
      Donot let your father do these acts again to you, the more you keep silent the more he will abuse you. Throw you out of the house? Sad to say, it will be best for you than living in a house with sure risk of sinning.
      take care

  5. Please take care . .

    we wish to support you always on this fight.
    u need not respect ur father.

  6. You need to get AWAY from that so called father of yours. Urrgh DISGUSTING! Ohh gosh! Just get away from there ASAP! Stop complicating things for yourself, If no one cares enough to stand up for you then you do not need to suffer! Get away from there.

  7. Sister,

    I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel. I feel so bad foryou and although you love your mother she is being horrible by allowing your father to continue this behavouir!. You cant just waith in the house and be molested by your father untill you get married. You need to put an end to this. You need to report him to the authorities. He needs to relize his crime and stop or else he will continue doing this! Or get him cautioned so he will be scared that he will be in prison if he tries it again. You need to be strong. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

    I pray Allah eases your pain and gives you peace.

  8. sister it would help if you would advise which country you are in so we can advise better

  9. SUBHANALLAH, how can this be nearly cried reading ur story. Wot kind of mother will live dere child to suffer like this. Ur father is a shame to ur society, doesn't he fear Allah, I mean him coming on U wen ur in salah, MAY ALLAH HELP U THROUGH EVERYTHING MY DEAR SISTER, MAY ALLAH BLESS U WITH A HUSBAND WHO WILL TAKE AWAY SORROWS, MAY ALLAH CONTINUE TO GUIDE U ON THE RITE PATH


  10. Assalamu alaykum sister please dont let him continue doing this you need to report him to the authorities. Go to your local masjid and talk to the imam ,ask him to help you. do not stay there in the same house ,if he tries it again scream ,call the police save yourself sister. you dont have to take everything and suffer in silent sister please report him.Allah doesnt want you to suffer,please get help sister,this kind of behavior is sick and in sharia law he will be punished for it as well. respect doesnt mean to be silent and let him continue his sick behavior. i do not think you have to love him as after all this i do not think it is possible and do not worry Allah knows what he has done to you!it is not your fault, he is your father he should protect you and not ...please get help sister. you need to talk to your mother as well as she is sinning ,she knows about that ,she is your mother and should protect you,help you but she doesnt want to listen.i pray for you that inshAllah you will get help and inshAllah you wont keep silent anymore. i pray you will find a husband who supports you always inshAllah.please get help do not keep silent.

  11. Sister,

    Do you have any relatives or really good friends that you could go live with? The best thing for you would be to pack your bags and put distance between you and your father. He is a sick man and a pervert. Like others, I believe your cutting and depression is due to the fact that you are living in a horrible situation. Your father is perverted and has crossed the boundaries of a parent. If you can leave and settle in with some good people who will help you, you might reconsider returning to University. Your father does what he does because he can and he has gotten away with it until now. Put a stop to it today. Sit down and think long and hard about what you can do to change your situation. As long as you continue to live in the same household with your father, this behavior of his will continue and that is something you simply cannot ignore. Make a decision and stand strong. Change will not come about by you staying in the same home. Make a conscious decision and fight for yourself. This is your life and your future. Change it. You can do this, have faith in yourself.


  12. I felt so sad reading your story I think you either need to get away from your father ASAP or try to find a nice musl guy to marry anything to get you out of there in a safe way !! This is no joke shame on your father big time I don't call him a muslim father he is crazy.. Just pray to Allah day and night to open a better door for you dear sister.

  13. Assalamu Alaykum my sister

    Tears were coming down my eyes while i was reading your post. unfortunately these things do happen around the world. This shouldnt definately put u off marriage though, try and seek a good muslim husband with a good character Insha'Allah. I think u should go back into university, do u get loan? perhaps u could move out houses this way aswel. But defo sis u should move out of that house ASAP!!

    I strongly advice u to get married sis, but take it slow, pray salatul istikhara. Masha'Allah u pray your salaah may Allah swt give u the strength to overcome this.

    - try and speak to your mother again (with proofs)
    - think about going back into university and if u have loan MOVE OUT!!
    - seek for a good character muslim husband who has fear of Allah, and ask around the society to get to know him better after u have found one insha'Allah.

    Your in my duas sis. But dont forget After every trials, Allah swt gives ease, Subhan'Allah. Dont forget Allah is with you all the time sis no doubt. Your going through this now insha'Allah your reward will be much much better. Trust me sis just shake up, wake up. Be strong, dont let anyone get to you, step up and raise your voice, you shouldnt have anything to be ashamed of!! Dont let him do any of those nasty acts to u Astagfirullah. Start putting your life into shape in order to continue forward in life. You will be accounted for what effort have u made to get yourself out of this. Apart from speaking to your mother, sister, brother, and sis in law, after the result what have you done? TIME TO ACT MY SIS. Do your part of what u are capable of doing, Move out if u can, and look for a good spouse for marriage insha'Allah.

    May Allah swt peace and blessings be upon you. Assalamu Alaykum.

  14. Report your dad to the police as soon as possible! Which country are you in?? You need to stop him from abusing you further by standing up for youre self and reporting the sick pervert! I am concerned that he is molesting other girls outside of your home. Does he still teach? How young are the students!?? This is a crime deserving severe punishment. Sister you have to seek help not just for youre sake but for also other girls he may be molesting now and in the future!

    Your mum should have protected you and your sister, she choosing to ignore this abuse is wrong and unforgivable! Its her basic duty as a mother .. You love your mum but You cant just do nothing and also let your mother ignore it too. This is a dysfunctional family.. You will need a lot of counselling and therapy to feel better and come out of depression and self harming. im sorry to say sister but if you continue like this you will continue to damage yourself more and this WILL affect your future with your husband and kids. SEEK HELP NOW and EXPOSE your father.

    Sister starting from today you need to gather evidence against your father! We all have smart fones with recording and taking pictures features on it! Record on your mobile, leave a camcorder hidden in your room or wherever these abuse takes place. Gather as much evidence you can then show it to your mum and police. Your mother has wronged you by not being a good mother by protecting you and keeping you safe that is in itself is a sin.

    I hope you seriously take my advice and stop this damage being caused to you by your sick father. DO NOT LET HIM BE ALONE WITH OTHER GIRLS and he should NOT be teaching young girls!

    I pray that Allah swt gives you peace and happiness. You are in my prayers/duaa.

  15. Thank you for your advice,

    I live in the Uk, and no my dad does not teach anymore to children anymore but i feel like that he does not have the guts to do this outside only have the guts to the damage to his daughters. And to sagftry yes, he is my real father, my own flesh and blood but i feel like his soul never trembled once when he did this to my sister and me. I cannot report my father because my mother i know her very well will disown me and never forgive me. Otherwise maybe I would have taken this step very long time ago but what good would it do to me if fact it would create more trouble for me.but I do not want him to curse me, what ever his done, it will never changed the fact that he is my father, and his curse can still touch me, it will be up to Allah to punish him or forgive him. not only will i get his curse but my mother would also curse me. you might find it weird but i neer had wanted or seeked revenge, my perfect ideal revenge if you can call it that for my family would chuck him out of their lives. but i know my mother would never do that she loves him too much. my sister hates him with just as passion i do and my brother well why should they care it doesn't effect them why should they care that their sisters are destroyed because of their father. i do not desire him to be locked up all i want to him to be far away from me it doesn't matter if he is happy or sad but just away. that all i want/

    To those who are asking me to speak to my mother to show proof, why when she has seen it soo many times firsthand she know what goes on she knows everything infact she would find it amusing that i have taped or written a diary about it. i have on several occasion times already talked to her and so has my sister talked to her. It has always ended her swearing and cursing us. saying that we are disgusting and that we have disgusting minds. I always ended up guilty that i had angered her as she wouldn't talk to me afterwards. before i had always believed that maybe my mother gueniely doesnt belive us maybe she actually that naive.. her father has died when she was very young about 4 yeard old so i belived maybe she doesn't really understand the father and daughter relationship. but one time i said something that she couldn't even father when my sister was having a bath would open the lock, it was the twist lock, would open the door he wouldnt enter it but god know if he seeked a peek. he has done that atleast three or fourtimes. and done that once wiyth me well open the lock to scared me but he didn't open the door but i cud of. this happened long time ago when i was in my teens but yet i am so scard iin my own house to have a bath and only do so when he is not at home is it normal to be this scared in your own house. she was asking me how come i didnt have a shower and when i meantion that out of anger and she went so quiet and that when i knew dat omg she does know deep down she knows but she would never admit it. after that i just sat there like an idiot just felt really shocked and felt betrayed. betrayed is a funny emotion and I feel that this family of mine has well become an expert at that but yet its alway a shock when it happens, right after you think you experience everything. i have no one to to turn to my family wont help me, i have only confided in my two friends who i though who be able to help apart from a sympathetic ear they haven't. so who do i have, no one. i have relatives here only from my dad sides, who do you think they will listen. but my relations are not strong with them although it did come out my aunties called my sister a liar they cannot hear a thing against their brother.

    Marriage, well I want to be normal person and like every 22 year old, dream of or have a marriage and have children seriously i do want it but so petrified serioulsy its like i have no guts as I am so scared to trust anyone seriously especially arranged marriages it terrifying for anyone but for me its soo scary seriously how can you trust someone I have never been able to,, or to be intimate with someone I mean I have never been with anyone, unlike my friends I have never had a boyfriend. you know if anyone touch me or give me a pat on my shoulder i actually flinched, i find it actually replusive even if its just my sister the feeling is so i dont know how to describe it. That worries me because what if i am unable to allow my husband to be intimate with me, if someone touches bothers me so much, then would i find it really difficult. I know you probs thinking I am stupid but its true i do not want my burden to overshadow any relationship but im scared it will. i feel like I am damaged goods and no one would want to be with me. sriously i want to ask this question to those brothers that commented or read this, would you want to marry a girl of such burdens. i know before you answer that you wouldn't, you wouldnt want associate with such girl, let alone marry her. But still i will pray for marriage purely because I know marriage is an important part of islam. just pray for me that I can get married a guy who I will be able trust and I can once in my life have someone who will protect me and love me and take me to a different country far away from my family and given the opportunity to experience a normal life where i do not have to constantly pray to Allah to protect me from my father, live in a place where i am constantly worried that how i am dressed, that i am covered, at my own home i dress so modesly i wear loose clothes and always have a scarf around my chest. I would like live in a home where i can breathe and relax and not hide constantly in my room. a person who can give me peace and happiness seriously i have feelings i am a human being i am not asking for much all i want in my life is happiness and love and someone who will protect me that well is that soo much to ask? to have a life of happiness and away from this nightmare that i am having.

    I want to be happy, i dont want this life seriously. i wish that i was born in another family. but Allah test us and he only gives us test that we are able to do. but i wish i was given an another test another life. Maybe I have gone stronger from this experiences, but i feel tired just tired and weaker and sick from theses experiences. i sometimes i feel like i am hallucinating like i can acutally feel him on me, so i go and just like a mad person wash my face or my hands like mad over and over again. i have cutting myself in my arm which is stupid but its kind of helped, which i only stoppped becuase my sister found out and threatened to tell my mum but once or twices i have didn't in place where she couldnt see like my leg or my arms above my elbows. serioulsy i feel bitter from this experience and i feel it only darken my outlook on life. i am pessimistic and find it soo hard to see happiness in my life. i mean its not like i am always sad, i do smile or laugh but only for temporary because i have a a realtiy at home, im not like other abused people who only have memories in the past and able to run awat heal, but i am constantly living the abused life, i have been molested twice when i went back home yes it was hard but i was able to heal and slowly forget. but this is something hard because these were people who i never see again but here i have to see him every day on top of that he is myfather. someone who i meant to cherise and love and have a beautiful relastionship but no he is person i sometime feel like ending it all. but inshallah i will never be that weak because Allah will never let me.

    I wish right now i can walk away, far but where can i go? i have no money no job and there is no body that i know in this world who would help me. dunt you find this weird buts it true no body helps someone else unless there is something for them, muslim included. i would personally live on the streets if i could but Allah know what is my heart that i havent left purely because of my mum. if my sister hadn't run away and i hadn't seen what it did to my mum. then i would have left. i know it would kill her. but i you are right i need to leave the only way i could think of is univestiy. this way i could leave with an excuse not run away int he night like my sister. my mum would know my whereabout and wouldm't been worried like she was like last times.ihave always been interested in midwifery i want to do a course and inshallah next year go to uni, a far away uni away from home. pray that i will be to get in a good uni. my mother still would argue and try that i will not because she is really sexist we are from a asian home that why she does not want me to live away from home but i will try to persuade even if she doesn't listen well i can not do much i have to go this time once in my life i want to think for myself why is it in asian families your parent or the society has such a strong control over the children espcially the women they make you soo weak. i feel like i have sacrifise soo much for my mother that it should feel like something that i should be proud for but yet i feel like it is my biggest weakness. that the love i have for my mother is kinda destoying my sanity i guess i dont know if that makes any sense. i just wish i was strong and selfish that i can only see my life and not worry about anyone else. you know what the more i write the more i think what am i doing here seriously is my love for my mum has blinded me so much that i ignore everything and jst carry everything inside. i seriously feel sick and feel like the respect that i have for myself have dropped so low that even if i tried i couldn't get myself. how have i been living like this seriously but you guys are right nothing will happen by staying at home, i have to fight for myself. i am going to uni i wish i can go now. but i am going to go to uni no matter what happens and i will makes an excuse not to vist home in the holidays. the more i can stay away the better my mums going to be angry but atleast i wont be running away, she wont worry like she did for my sister becasue she will know my whereabouts.

    May Allah help me and give me the strength to do this and may he forgives me if my steps anger my mother but as long as Allah showers his mercy on me I shall be fine. Please pray for me as inshallah your dua may help me a great deal inhallah i feel like i have been tested enough and i wish inshllah i would get my share of happiness now.

    • Sister, you asked " would you want to marry a girl of such burdens."

      My answer is "why not?" Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear, and every Muslim understands this. And a Muslim man who fears Allah looks at the Aakhirah. He can visualize the Jannah and the Hell in front of him. He can visualize the Hisaab in the court of Allah Subhaanah. He would support a fellow Muslim to come out of oppression. And when this "fellow Muslim" happens to be his wife, he would take her far away from oppression and console her, give her love and compassion, protect her against the oppressors and keep her pleased. But he would also expect that you show patience and support.

      Allah Says in the final Aayah of Surah al Baqarah:

      لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْ ۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِنْ نَسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِنْ قَبْلِنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ ۖ وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا ۚ أَنْتَ مَوْلَانَا فَانْصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ
      Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbeleiving people.

      This world is a temporary place and the Hereafter is a place of eternal rest. This world is a place of trials and tests. The Hereafter is a place of rewards. Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'ala Created us and showed us the path that leads to Him. There are people trying to hold us back by dragging us backwards, fighting us to stay back, dragging us in chains, and what not. A Muttaqi (God Conscious) is a person who saves oneself from these and gets to the end. Subhanallah, when a person will see the Reward, he/she will forget whatever was seen in this world, in sha Allah.

      What you face is temporary like others. The only difference is that it has not yet become "past". You are only 22 and young. If Allah Gives you a long life, you have much to see. So, you will eventually bury this feeling into the "past", in sha Allah.

      He Said:

      يَا قَوْمِ إِنَّمَا هَٰذِهِ الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا مَتَاعٌ وَإِنَّ الْآخِرَةَ هِيَ دَارُ الْقَرَارِ
      O my people, this worldly life is only [temporary] enjoyment, and indeed, the Hereafter - that is the home of [permanent] settlement.

      I urge you to get married. Do not hasten, but check into the man's character, his deen and his anxiousness about the Aakhirah. Many Muslim men are in this category, they are not like your father. So, rest assured and move ahead after performing Salatul Istikhaarah and trusting in Allah, and May He Give you Strength.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

      • Sir!
        I would like to know that what is the punnishment in islam for such deeds, is the person is still in the circle of islam or they are murtad, how to protect the kids like this, please this is the big issue, speak openly about this...

        What is the punishment for such a person in islam? Give me the answer plz

    • Sister,

      Do you mind if I email you? Or would you prefer for this conversation to continue here?

      SisterZ Editor

    • Sister don't consider yourself "damaged goods" or "impure".
      There are women who sleep with 100 men and still think they deserve righteous men and the same goes to men who are studs themselves but expect sisters who are virgins.

      Sister in Syria when the Assad regime gang-raped our precious sisters repeatedly , the brothers there came out and married them , even when they knew they were raped by pigs, and the droppings of dogs , they understood that even if a diamond falls into a ditch it would still remain a diamond ,even though we may need to clean it to wash away the dirt.

      By Allah , Allah never pushes you off a cliff unless he gives you the ability to Fly or he is there to catch you, because he loves us.

      Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Allah, the Exalted, has said: `I will declare war against him who treats with hostility a pious worshipper of Mine. And the most beloved thing with which My slave comes nearer to Me, is what I have enjoined upon him; and My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing Nawafil (voluntary prayers or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) until I love him, (so much so that) I become his hearing with which he hears, and his sight with which he sees, and his hand with which he strikes, and his leg with which he walks; and if he asks Me something, I will surely give him, and if he seeks My Protection (refuge), I will surely protect him".

      Calamities and disasters are a test for a person, and this is a sign that Allaah loves him, because this is like medicine: even though it is bitter, but still you offer the medicine, despite its bitterness, to the one whom you love; and Allaah's is the highest description.

      According to a saheeh hadeeth: "The greatest reward comes from the greatest trial. When Allaah loves people, He tests them, and whoever accepts it gains the pleasure of Allaah and whoever complains earns His wrath."

      Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2396; Ibn Maajah, 4031; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani.

      For calamities to befall the believer is better than punishments being stored up for him in the Hereafter. How can it be otherwise when he is raised in status and his bad deeds are erased thereby? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When Allaah wills good for His slave, He hastens his punishment in this world, and when He wills bad for His slave, He withholds his sins until he comes with them on the Day of Resurrection." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2396; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.

      The scholars have explained that the one from whom calamities and trials are withheld is the hypocrite, for Allaah withholds [his punishment] in this world, so as to bring him with all his sins on the Day of Resurrection.

      Never lose hope in Allah. You sister are a diamond just like my other sisters in Syria,Palestine,Chechniya and throughout the Ummah . Don't rush into a marriage just to get away from your father , it would mean shooting you in the foot, twice.

      Pray to Allah and beg from him , and I mean literally beg , be desperate and be sincere ask him for a person who would love Allah and his messenger more than you , which would consequently increase his love for you and who would be able to support you and your mother.

      I pray that Allah gives you a spouse who make you his queen, takes you far away from "home" and close to Allah and from you Allah brings out a people who would be flag bearers in this Ummah,
      Sister I hope though this experience you understand that a women is in need of much confidence just as a man, so I hope you bring up daughters who would know to defend themselves , educated , knowledgeable in the deen etc ...

      If there is a chance for you to learn Martial Arts from a female instructor , I would say go for it , makes you feel better , and take out your rage on a poor punching bag, trust me and Allah knows best IT DOES A WORLD OF GOOD .

      Smile sister and Keep smiling, You have a family here , don't leave the us lol .. , for you are not alone ,and I pray that Allah is smiling at you an tells Jibreel(alai) "Look at my slave so-and-so , whatever test I put on her her she bears it up for the sake of Me and she even loves her mother for my sake , Jib reel inform the I LOVE HER AND YOU TOO LOVE HER "

  16. Sister,

    It really makes me angry and terribly sad that you are living this way. It seems your whole family knows what is going on, even if it is only in the form of whispers. I fail to understand how you care so much for your mother when she is aware that your father is crossing the lines of being a parent yet she stays silent and even accuses you of being a liar when you have brought up what is going on. I am just going to be blunt with you sister...I have three daughters in my home. If their father was ever inappropriate with them in any way, shape, or form...he would be in jail. I love my husband however, I have a duty as a parent and a mother to protect the offspring my husband and I share together from harm. How could I love my daughters but not protect them from something I know can and will have life long repercussions? How could I live each and every day knowing what is happening and doing absolutely nothing about it?! Is that not my duty as a mother? is. Even a dog will protect it's offspring from harm should the need arise...a bird even. Love can not be blinded by the evil actions of a spouse towards their children (or anyone for that matter). Your mother has a duty to protect you and for whatever reasons she may have, she is standing by silently watching you and your sister being molested. Your own brother is aware of what is going on in your home yet he is a coward and has left your home only to pretend what is going on is not his problem. How is he able to look at himself in the mirror knowing that his own sister is being molested and will continue to be molested again and again if no one steps in and puts a stop to it?! I pray with all my heart that one of these amazing sisters that are on this website might reside within the United Kingdom and be able to reach out and help you. There are many organizations to help woman like yourself who are in a situation that is not acceptable and harms your very being. You really should not think of your mother and how she will feel if you leave your home my dear. Your own mother is standing by every day watching you be molested by her husband...your father. Never in any way can there be an excuse for what is going on in your home. You are a human being who deserves better. I personally don't think you need to jump out of one bad situation into another meaning...marriage. You need to leave your home and find a safe place where you will get the help you need and most of all be safe. Jumping into a marriage just to get out of where you are is not a good solution, at least in my mind. You are in need of help and guidance, not a husband just so you can leave your home. You need to know that you are worthy and have done nothing at all to deserve the injustice you endure every day. May Allah guide one of these amazing sisters on this website to you. Please don't be afraid to reach out and let one of them help you. Do not ever spend a moment worrying about what others may think. Now is the time for you to think of you. The only person who matters here is you.


  17. As-salamu alaykum. My reply is very late, but I want to point out that no one has question whether this is in fact "sexual abuse". Sister, you have not described any explicit incident of sexual abuse, and I have to wonder whether your mother is right when she says that you are misinterpreting a father's affection. I wonder if in fact your mind has been poisoned against your father unjustly.

    Certainly beating you is wrong and unacceptable. Some parents spank their children when they disobey, but as you are older now, there is no reason for hitting you.

    However, when it comes to sexual abuse, what you have described does not merit this description. Did he ever expose his privates to you? Did he ever touch your breasts or your private area? Did he attempt any overt sexual act such as oral sex or intercourse? From what I can see in your post, the answer to all of these is no.

    Your allegation of sexual molestation is based on:

    He wrestled with you when you were younger - And? Many fathers play with their children this way. I would guess you probably enjoyed it, right?

    He kissed you - Kissed you how? On the cheek? It is normal for parents to express affection this way. In fact, it's what good parents do.

    He touched your back - Again, I see nothing malicious or harmful in this? Do you mean he patted or stroked your back over your clothing? These kinds of caresses are generally innocent. If you mean that he touched your naked back (especially if you were older) then that's something strange.

    He licked you - Where? Do you mean on your face? I agree that this is strange behavior.

    Overall, I don't see anything that can be explicitly considered sexual molestation. Did you arrive at this conclusion yourself that you are being molested, or did someone put the idea in your head? It sounds maybe like your sister's friend is the one who started this whole ball rolling.

    I do not deny that sexual abuse is common. It happens a lot, even from men who are supposedly religious. I just don't see that clearly in this case, and I don't like to see a family destroyed by unfounded allegations.

    Wael Editor

    • I agree wth this brother
      Sister what you r describing isnot abiut harrasemnt .
      The best thing what you cud do is ...and should have done was to talk to your mom that you and your sister donot like the physical touch.
      And if it was said in this way your mother wud hve definetly spoke2 her husband and would have discouraged him to show physical affection to you girls.
      Anyhow i read the whole thing
      Ur father wrestling wth you caressing you back whn you were small etc was a normal way of showing affection .
      Kissing on tge cheeks ..some fathers do lick their children but that is whn thy are small the age of 4 the father stops it as the father realises tht the child dislikes it.
      My child donot let other fuel your mind against your ur own blood ..
      If there is genunine case of molestatiin then you hve the right to expose the person as he is to b ur upmost protector.

      • Read the following by OP; do you still think father is innocent

        When I was eighteen this started to have a toll on me. I felt sick to talk to my father, I mean he meant to protect but he still touching me. I mean it felt like I am living every moment that he molested me. I told my bhabi(sister in law) and she was shocked. She told me she knew about rabia but didn't think it had happened to me. She told me that father has perved on her on many occasion and this is why she keeps her distance. I was shocked on hearing this as I did not know this.

  18. Salam.
    My heart goes to you dear sister.. SubhanaAllah you are going through so much... May Allah (SWT) help you thru this great trial...
    I totally agree with sister Najah- Marriage is not the best solution at this moment... You would need to heal your wounds for sometimes, before making such an important decision of your life...

    I urge you to report your father to authorities. Not only is he threat to you and your sister but to the rest of the society as well. If you don’t report him now, when you and your sister are well off with your lives, he may do something similar to other girls. Usually these pedophilic behaviors don’t change… This is a huge crime in front of Allah and the Legal system of any country.

    Do not be afraid of your mother or father cursing you, you did not deserve their curse, so Allah SWT won’t accept their bad duas.
    Narrated Abu Darda (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘When a person curses (La’nah; to ask that something be deprived of Allah’s Mercy) somebody or something, the curse goes up to the heaven and the gates of the heaven are closed. Then it comes down to the earth and its gates are closed. Then it turns right and left, and if it does not find an entrance to go anywhere, it returns to the person or thing that was cursed, if he or it deserves to be cursed; otherwise, it returns to the person, who uttered .’
    [Abu Dawood] Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) also warned, ‘Those who frequently resort to cursing would neither be accepted as witnesses nor as intercessors on the Day of Resurrection.’ [Saheeh Muslim]

    Please protect yourself sister, move out from that house to your trusted friend or relative as soon as possible. Your mother does not have courage to do the right thing, so please do it yourself.

    May Allah SWT give you strength to take the right actions to protect yourself form further harm. May He heal your wounds and transform you to a beautiful, confident, happy and healthy Muslima , Inshallah.

    • MashaAllah, may Allah reward for this advise, especially the cursing part coz my mum curses me n my siblings. JazakaAllah Kheir 4 sharing this knowledge

    • Assalamuallaykum sister Mary,

      I love your advice of her reporting him to the authorities if she able, but in my opinion, when in the state that she is/was in, it is her responsibility to do it only for her own protection if she addition to what she is already carrying on her shoulders in her situation, it is not her responsibility to be ensuring he doesn't do this to others...the protection of others will Inshallah happen as a result of her reporting him, but she is too traumatized to carry that weight and consideration while she herself is still in that situation. She needs to focus on protecting herself first and foremost and focus on education of others, if she wishes, only once she is safe.

      Once again this is with all due respect to you. Thank you for helping this sister and may Allah reward you immensely.

      And Allah knows best.


  19. Bismilla irrahmaan irraheem.

    Allah Please grant this momin of yours(sisterly soul) the peace and tranquality she needs .

    Dear Allah, I urgue you that this is the most difficult guilts and ache's anybody can ever go though/have,
    Allah, please you yourself be presentt to protect her . . in her house which seems to be in uk.

    Dear Allah, I give you the wasta(reference/wasila) of your beloved prophet
    the apple of of your eye, prophet Syeduna Muhammadur rasool ulla alaihiwaswallam.

    swallahu ala muhammad swallalahu alahi wa swallam
    ps: Dear Sister please be here in touch with us the general muslims we would like to be a support to you as some of us express ourselves here

  20. Thank you for your messages.

  21. Hi,

    I just want to request the website to please remove all my posts, if possible.

  22. no matter what do.not stop your studies sister, that will help you someday to stand alone in this life, your mother is scared of your father because she must be totally depended on him. Im not saying it will happen , but someday if this happens to your children you must be able to stand up and protect them. So educate your self, make a you can stand by yourself. Allah will guide you to get what you want, in the meantime keep distance with your father, talk to him , but dont try to be in isolated places with him, tell your mom sorry for thinkin in that way, tell her you really love her but you said it cos you felt that way about your father, and its up to her to deside.

    If i was you i would take legal action against your him as soon as i feel im no longer dependent on him, whats wrong is wrong and what he has done is seriously wrong im sure allah will not want him to escape that easy, im a muslim lawyer in uk. I pray that things will become good for you very soon.

  23. Sister
    if he touches you push him away..
    He has no right to touch tell...him your a muslim....tht wht he doing is wrong if he tries it with you..dont overburden your mum I guess I see .shes weak she prbz dnna hw to deal with ..this maybe needs someone to talk with her...a pep talk....n sis

    Im a guy ..n wat would matter to me is where u r today.

  24. Asalaam alaykum
    Is there anyway I can get in touch with you sister the same thing happened to me from the age of 16 I don't know what to do about it please help me some body jazakallah

    • zaynah, please log in and write your question as a separate post. Give us more information about the situation (without revealing your identity). Put "emergency" in the post heading and we'll move it up to the front of the queue, Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor

  25. Salam Sister!
    This is EXACTLY how I am feeling. The same things happened to me- although I haven't told anyone about it. I am so scared. I don't want my siblings or mother to be affected. I don't want to respect my father anymore. I feel like I hate him.
    Insha'Allah this will work out for both of us 🙂

  26. I was molested by my uncle when i was 7-9 years old. After 15years i killed him, did i do a sin? please answer this question!

    • cabdi, if what you are saying is true, then you committed a grave sin. Molesting a child is a terrible sin, but killing someone is equally terrible.

      However, I am not going to judge you. I don't know what I would have done in your position. What I suggest is that you make tawbah constantly, and ask Allah for forgiveness. Also, please try to get therapy or counseling to confront the emotional issues resulting from your abuse, and resolve them.

      Wael Editor

    • What you mean you killed him? That's one of the scary post I read in this site.

      • "Tumult and oppression are worse than slaughter." - Quran 2:217. Of course murder is haram and a serious sin; but to me it's even more frightening to read about children who have been sexually molested by their own relatives. It's natural for the oppressed to fight back.

        Wael Editor

    • OP: My father pray five times a day, he read quran and is a hafiz. He taught so many students quran so he is meant to be religious right....... he molested me and my sisters when we were young so innocent to understand. He used to wrestle and pins us to the floor, he used to lick our face, kiss us, he used to touch our back. Astagfirullah but I didn't understand or realized it since I was a teenager. A friend has pointed it out to my sister, she told her once occasion where my dad had pinned her down to the bed and she had felt his private part.

      Is your father still teaching Quran? He may be doing things with his students. If a man can molest his own daughters, what can prevent him from molesting his students or other young relatives or............Religion can't control sexual desire. Your father very well knows what is wrong and what is right

  27. Wael,

    This is what Muslims in general do not understand that this king of behaviour from parents, abuse , swearing, nasty parents affects individuals. I mean the last poster said she killed her abuser??? I don't know how she managed that but I can see why she did it whether it's right or wrong only Allah knows. Abuse is damaging and simply saying be patient with parents and be kind is tough! It's really tough! Maybe impossible. I know I have been through this abuse. It's easy to dish the advice but the person going through the ordeal is dying in every moment.

  28. as salaamu alaykum:
    Although the responses to the victim's letter that I read offer excellent advice,
    I do not believe that the situation described by the victim is accurate if it is true or, therfore, it is not true at all.

    One of the beautiful things about this religion by those who are truly educated in it and who practice it,
    is that Allah protects His deen by making the faasiq and the liar show tell-tale signs of their worse disobedient behavior.

    The letter states, "My father pray five times a day, he read quran and is a hafiz. He taught so many students quran..."

    Please believe me. If her father did that which she says he did, then he is not saying five prayers a day. Second if he truthfully did memorize Qur'an, believe me he has literally forgotten most of it. Third, if and when he committed the evil that he did, it was after--if not long after he had forgotten much of the Qur'an.

    Without going into a longer answer, please believe that Allah protects His religion and that one cannot fake being a true believer except to those who are not well versed in the religion or to those who have spent little time around a faker. Allah describes the true believers in the Qur'an and through His Messenger, pbuh.
    Only believers can consistently act like believers and only believers can act like believers while in hardship.

    If the victim had the things occur to her as described, then her father is not praying regularly and he is not a hafiz of Quran. May Allah expose and separate the truth from falsehood concerning that matter

    • your a clown for questioning a innocent girl talking about being molested by her father. why would she make this up? this must be embarassing for her. and newsflash many people put on the islamic "role" and do sick and twisted things and they use guilt or islam to make there children feel guilty or as if allah is not pleased with them and this is what the girls father is doing. do you know theres thousands of cases like this in islamic households but the topic is so shameful that nobody will bring it up and everyone will keep quiet about it because they think they have to respect parents by any means in islam....which is false....when they sexually assualt you then they father title is deployed and he is no longer even a muslim anymore.....that is damage that cannot be damages a childs brain and innocence......something that can never be puriffied least in the childs development and mind....your a clown for the weak response you made....

  29. Asalaam alaikum sister,

    I accidently stumbled on this post while searching up the benefits of being a hafiz and I know it's a old post, but I couldn't stop myself from commenting in the hopes that you are still alive and well. I really can't imagine your pain and it hurts me that nobody in your family has done anything about this tragedy. Your dad is a monster and he will have to pay for that in this dunya and the akhira. I hope you can find some peace in this world. Your only option is to leave your house and get away from your family. InshaAllah everything gets better with time.

  30. Leave your house immediately!!

  31. The solution is not to get married. Solution is to find back your confidence and leave the rest to Allah. I say, build a career, do things you always wanted to do and try to seek counselling to be happy ! You set a good example for your kids, always believe what they tell you and stand for what is right.

    Sister, I'll pray for you, inshaallah will find back your solace and confidence.

  32. So sad I never think about father to be like this

  33. Salam sister my dad does the same to me and I'm 13 I told my mum and she argued against my dad and kicked him out of the house my advice to you is to respect him but not as a father as a MAN as a HUMAN BEING and as a BELIEVER but not as a father because he DOSENT deserve anything good you have to offer because after what he has done to you he can't be called anyone's father son basically he's got no rigth over he can't get you married,slap you,touch you or tell you to do anything I'm not saying to run away because I wanted to do that but I didnt and now look at my life I also wanted to die but I would've missed all this so I waited and and had faith in ALLAH I advise you tell a the police I know that this is really hard but your first option is your mum then the police or the easiest but also the hardest ignore avoid and cut ties with everybody in your family who did u wrong apart from your mum because no matter what your mom is mom.

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