Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am hindu – I have vowed to marry very fair beautiful muslim girl

I am a hindu man. Long back I loved a muslim girl, she was kashmiri shy girl, very good, decent, I was taken aback by her beauty. We started talking and then it turned into love and we had short affair but I was beaten by her brother along with his friends brutally. He paid no heed to her crying sister.

I was vowed to change my religion, but she and her brother left our place forever, and I am in shock state even after 15 years, I was 15 years then, it is a crime in islam?

I have vowed to marry very fair beautiful muslim girl, innocent girl below 30,then why is men allowed to marry hindu girls then, it is not unfair?

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11 Responses »

  1. Firstly,

    a Muslim man is not allowed to marry a hindu woman.

    It is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry a Magian (Zoroastrian), Hindu, communist or idol-worshipping woman, etc. The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you…”

    [al-Baqarah 2:221]


    I would like to invite you to Islam.

    We Muslims worship Allah - the only one GOD who created you and me and all that exists.

    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “O mankind! Worship your Lord (Allaah), Who has created you and those before you so that you may become al-muttaqoon (the pious).” [al-Baqarah 2:21]

    Do you think the idols that you worship can listen to you ? can they hear your prayers? can they respond to you? have you ever asked these questions to yourself ?

    Everything that is worshiped instead of Allaah can neither bring benefit nor cause harm, it can neither create nor provide. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Say (O Muhammad, to mankind); ‘How do you worship besides Allaah something which has no power either to harm or to benefit you? But it is Allaah Who is the All-Hearer, All-Knower.’” [al-Maa’idah 5:76]

    “You worship besides Allaah only idols, and you only invent falsehood. Verily, those whom you worship besides Allaah have no power to give you provision, so seek your provision from Allaah (Alone), and worship Him (Alone), and be grateful to Him. To Him (Alone) you will be brought back.” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:17]

    Allah is the one who created you and me and all that exists.
    Allah alone deserves to be worshiped.
    HE has no father, mother, brother, sister or son.
    HE is not like us.
    There is no one like HIM.

    Allah says,

    Say, "He is Allah , [who is] One,
    "Allah-us-Samad (The Self-Sufficient Master, Whom all creatures need, He neither eats nor drinks).
    He neither begets nor is born,
    "And there is none co-equal or comparable unto Him."

    (Quran 112: 1-4)

    what is the purpose of this life? just study, earn, marry, children and die or there is more to it?

    Allah says
    “And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)”
    {Quran 51:56}

    Do you know that this life is temporary?? and we will die and will be raised up again and there is going to be a day of judgement?

    Please Research about Islam. See how it makes sense inshaAllah.

    I want you to be saved from the hell fire and enter Heaven so I invite you to Islam.

    Here are some links for you where you can learn more about Islam inshaAllah

    -> quran(dot)come
    - > Invitation2Islaam(dot)wordpress(dot)com
    replace above (dot) by . and paste and search in your address bar
    May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  2. Hey,

    Yes, you got beaten up by her brother because its a crime in Islam to have boyfriends/girlfriends and its a serious crime if the relationship is intimate which requires beating severely. Its also a gravely serious crime for her to marry you etc etc. Its all disobidience and transgression towards our creator Allah (one God). So to avoid further crimes, her brother made sure that your relationship with her is history.

    Furthermore, according to Islam, a muslim woman is forbidden to marry a hindu man, likewise, a muslim man is also forbidden to marry a hindu woman. Proof- Our creator, Allah the lord of all the worlds said: "And do not marry polytheistic women...And do not marry polytheistic men..."(Quran 2:221)

    Fair and square now isn't it ?

    Lastly, you said you were 15 then, that means, that girl was around your age or less and so she was a kid and might not understand properly about Islam and probably got blinded by infatuation, now, she is in her late 20s, she might have understood Islam properly and who knows, she might be married already, as girls in India/Pakistan normally get married at early 20s. So why don't you move ahead with your life and never try to find that girl because who knows maybe this time her brother would be more strict. You'll unecessarily put your life in danger.

    Bro Abdullah gave a good summary about Islam and I would also invite you to look into this religion.

    • Assalamualaikum,

      Brother Ali, your comment seems like you are justifyng the beating as a part of Islam.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

    • Is this sort of beating by the brother lawful in Muslim countries?

  3. Hello Sameer,

    I understand what you feel and I know what you have gone through.

    You probably have a misunderstanding that a Muslim man can marry a Hindu woman. This is untrue. No Muslim man can marry a Hindu woman.

    The girl you liked when you were 15, I believe, was of your age or lesser. A person generally is naive in this phase of life and does not see what is good or bad. Infatuation seems true love and so on.

    I understand how things work in India. Brothers are considered barriers between a man and a woman. Her brothers would have beaten you, even if you were a Muslim. That is a sign of protection of their young sister.

    Don't presume that they beat you just because you were not Muslim. That would have made no difference. I do not justify their deed, because there are ways other than beating up, to make people understand. They must have acted wisely and advised you and even warned you before they took this step.

    And buddy, your vow can be fulfilled ONLY if you become a Muslim. Why not embrace the onky religion acceptable with the Only True God? Why not believe in The One God who Created you and me? The One who Created this world and gave us all that we can see? The One Whose Justice is unmatchable? Would you worship many gods other than Allah who can not benefit or harm anyone? Or would you Worship The One Who Created everything that exists other than Himself and had no beginning and shall have no end?

    I urge you to read and learn about Islam and consider becoming our brother - a Muslim brother. This will make you a part of the Muslim family and a follower of Muhammad peace be upon him, the Prophet of Allah. You shall have an absolute advantage over million other non Muslims in the Hereafter. The Hereafter is the life after death when Allah will reward each and every soul for the good and the bad. None shall enter the paradise except with faith in Allah and His Messengers. You have a chance to strive to be one of them. Learn Islam and ponder over the signs of Allah.

    We will certainly help you see the truth if you ask us for help in a particuoar subject (God Willing).

    And if you accept the truth of Islam you will also be permitted to marry a Muslim woman and work with her to gain entry into the Paradise.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  4. Don't run after beauty brother. Beauty doesn't mean anything. Nor will it last.

    What happenes when you decide to marry a woman who is beautiful, and then something happenes to her and she looks nothing like she did when you married her. Then what?

    She'll only have her personality. And what if you don't like who she is on the inside? Then what? You leave her? That's being unfair, and low.

    Make dua that you meet an great Muslim woman that follows Islam, will make an amazing mother to your children, and who is beautiful inside before the outside.

  5. Wa'alaykumsalam,

    @ brother Abu Abdul Bari and sister Senna,

    Beating "brutally" is wrong but I do justify "normal" beating in certain circumstances. You asked if normal beating is allowed in muslim community, yes because it is an order from our Prophet, especially if ones own family is transgressing. Just like the religious police (hai'a) in Saudi, they roam with sticks and hit people who transgress as a warning. I would certainly beat a person who mess with my sister as well as my sister for disobeying Allah (again not brutally to disfigure them). Lets look at the the OP's case, that girls brother have seriously saved her life from greater harm, suffering and what not, wallahu alam. They have stopped a muslimah from marrying a non muslim, they have stopped her from having boyfriend, stopped from commiting major sins etc, basically they have forbidden evil and enjoined good by protecting their little sister. In the end they've gone seperate ways and 15 years past. Now imagine if that girl's brother just used his tongue to stop the evil that means by "advising", I bet the whole scenario would be different. Lets see what Islam says about this,

    Allah said : The believers, men and women, are Auliya' (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma'ruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat) and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. (Quran 9:71)

    Now one may ask how should it be done ? Our Prophet (PBUH) said: "“Whoever of you sees an evil must then change it with his hand[by taking action]. If he is not able to do so, then [he must change it ] with his tongue. And if he is not able to do so, then [he must change it] with his heart. And that is the slightest [effect of] faith.” (Sahih Muslim)

    Furthermore, our prophet (PBUH) said: .."Whoever struggles against them with his hand is a believer. Whoever struggles against them with his tongue is a believer. And whoever struggled against them with his heart is a believer. Beyond that there is no faith, even equivalent to the amount of a mustard seed.” (Sahih Muslim)

    Prophet also said: If any man is among a people in whose midst he does acts of disobedience, and, though they are able to make him change (his acts), they do not change, Allah will smite them with punishment before they die. (Abu Dawood)

    Imam Nawawi said: ""And know that this affair of commanding the good and forbidding the evil has been largely abandoned since a great length of time, and in this age nothing is left of it except very few formalities, despite its being an extremely important affair"

    Finally our prophet (PBUH) said : "Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shall be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust).Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust. (Sahih Muslim)

    There are many accounts in ahadeeth where sahabas hit people who does evil acts.

    "..If ye follow (right) guidance, no hurt can come to you from those who stray. the goal of you all is to Allah: it is He that will show you the truth of all that ye do. " (Quran 5:105)

    • Brother, smite is different from injure. Personal judgements do not necessarily result in brutally beating someone.

      Family discipline is different from injuring a stranger. Yes, if a person is forcing and doing dhulm, we can save our family or a fellow Muslim from harm and use our physical strength. But not when a 15 year old boy thinks he likes a girl.

      I learnt a Qaa'idah from Shaikh Muhammad bin Ramzaan al Hajiri (May Allah Preserve him). Having a daleel is different from using it. There are dalaail for almost everything, but we should use them only where they are supposed to be used.

      If beating was allowed, this would spread corruption in society and one gang would fight another and even kill them. This is not a part of Islam. Rather, it is equal to doing dhulm, because a lesser evil would be paid back with a much greater one. For example, a person says to me: "I love your sister". And as a reply, I break his legs. This is dhulm.

      He may have wrong intentions. I will deal with him by telling him and trying to explain if things will not work. If he still does not listen, I will warn him. If he still insists, I will keep my sister away from him. And if he tries anything silly afterwards, I will do what I should to protect my sister.

      Hope it is clear.

      In Saudi Arabia, the Mutawwi' (commonly known as religious police) do not generally beat with sticks. Some may do, but that is not justified, except in some situations. Sometimes when they beat, it is not warning, but a result of not abiding by the rules. People know that something is illegal/punishable, they still do it. And this is not done by just anybody, but the Mutawwi'. Moreover, I have never seen this happen in Saudi as far as I remember. I have seen them arrest people breaking laws.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

      • SubhanAllah, well said Br. Abu Abdul Bari.

        I believe it was the people of Taif who abused and threw stones at the Prophet (pbuh) and Allah said that the Prophet had the option crush the city of Taif. Out of his great tolerance and mercy, the Messenger of God replied,
        “No! For, I hope that God will bring forth from their loins people who will worship God alone, associating nothing with Him.” (Saheeh Muslim)

        The Prophet showed mercy and compassion and had wisdom that we should endeavor to have. Even when he had the choice and power, he never misused it and thought so far about the future generations!

        May Allah guide us all and may Br. Sameer seriously consider all invitations to Islam. Please judge Islam based on Islam, and not necessarily a bad experience that you had.

  6. @smeerghosh

    You CANNOT marry a Muslim girl as a non-Muslim. Islam forbids relationships between a Muslim and non-Muslim, period. Find a HINDU girl for yourself. But if you want to marry a Muslim girl then CONVERT to ISLAM first. In this manner, you may find solace and hope.

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