Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Feeling empty and want to get married

anxiety

Salam alikum

I am 19 years old muslimah, i feel empty,  lost, lazy  due to my latest depression that led me to stop school in my second semester for the sake of mending my heart with spiritual love towards god.

But nowadays sadly,  i don't pray,  i wear hijab but i don't even go out,  it's been months i am just at home.

Also,  i fantasize a lot about the marriage life, which is simple and natural but sometimes it leads me to continue imagining things beyond the idea of marriage...

Please help with the feeling of emptiness and the fact that am craving to have a love life.

Icha

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5 Responses »

  1. My friend in ISLAM.Salam.Listen well n understand.Im speaking with great concern...i have a LOT of experience and my wife is a sunni SCHOLOR to seal the deal.im also in my 40s now..i have a life experience when I didn't know ISLAM .Although I'm still being tested...You see Allah created us only to test us in this world to see who will turn to him in every situation. Regardless how smart wealthy or famous etc...this person will NEVER Find peace or contentment .Instead he will fill find stress worries problems after problems.. The answer is simple? SUCCESS IN THIS WORLD AND IN THE HEREAFTER IS ONLY OBEYING THE COMMANDMENTS OF ALLAH THROUGH THE EXAMPLE AND PRACTICE OF OUR ROLE MODEL MUHAMMAD PEACE BE UPON HIM.....NOW LET'S GO BACK TO BASICS .REFRESHER OR RENEW YOUR INTENTIONS..1ST..NO YOUR ENEMY...SHAITAN. HE IS ALWAYS PRESENT 24/7 BUT AS SOON AS YOU REMEMBER ALLAH HE BACKS UP..THIS IS FACT...HE LIKES TO PLAY HEAD GAMES.HE CAN ALSO CAN COME THROUGH OTHERS JUST TO CAST DOUBT. ADVICE PRAY 5 TIMES A DAY N MASTER THE SALAH N SURAH CORRECTLY WITH PROPPER WUDU AT ALL TIMES..READ QURAN MORNING N EVENING DAILY...READ SOME HADITH AND DO ZIKR AS MUCH AS YOU CAN..YOU WILL SEE THAT WILL GET THE BLESSINGS AND HELP YOU NEED..1 MORE THING STAY WITH PRACTICING MUSLIMS AND LEARNED PEOPLE..ATTEND THE SUNNI MOSQUE TO LEARN HELP CHARITY OR SOCIAL EVENTS...DO NOT LET ANYONE SAY YOUR GONE CRAZY OR EXTREME..REMEBER WHEN YOU DIE ..YOU ONLY TAKE YOUR GOOD N BAD ACTIONS TO THE GRAVE
    AND YOU WILL BE QUESTIONED..THIS ALL FACT FORETOLD BY OUR PROPHET.ALSO BE PATIENT AND KNOW THAT EVERYTHING IS FROM ALLAH GOOD OR BAD.THERES ALWAYS A PLAN WITH ALLAH SOOO DON'T QUESTION IT.

    KEEP AWAY FROM MUSIC.
    .IT WILL DESTROY YOU AND MOVIES.KEEP AWAY FROM INTEREST NO MATTER WHAT IT IS A CURSE .and stay away from nosence chats

  2. It sounds to me like there are other issues you need to worry about and address before you even think about marriage.

    You say you are lazy, lost, depressed and basically don't have anything going for you. What makes you think you are marriage material, then? In all honesty, who wants to be married to a depressive person? And one that isn't even bothered to get help for her depression, or bothered to try to make the best of her life, even? Who wants to get married to someone who doesn't have a basic education? Or a job? Who wants to get married to someone lazy? Would you? Would you want a husband that is similar to how you are? Probably not, right? So why would a man want to "settle"?

    I think you're fantasizing about marriage, in an unrealistic manner, because it seems to be an easy way out for you. If you have a husband, you can remain as passive and lazy as you are now, because a husband that is required to financially support you - which means you don't have to go out there and do something with your life. You are only 19, yet living like a dying grandmother from the 18th century. It's not right. I'm sorry for being harsh on you, but I honestly think you need a reality check.

    Also, if you think marriage is simple, then you really are deluded. Marriage is really hard work, because you're responsible for another person's happiness. It's not all about YOU and what YOU wand and need, there's also another person in the marriage that has needs and wants, you know.

    Reality is, you can't even keep yourself happy - so how are you going to make a husband happy? Or a child?

    • This advise is very harsh .

      Sister ,

      I suggest you to continue school as it will make you happy .
      If you sit idle then you will feel negative about yourself . You need to find some activities which makes you happy and excited like driving ,swimming ,games or social activities etc etc .

      Insha Allah you will be fine .You are fine but just need some positive energy and push .

      • I know, I also acknowledged and apologized for being harsh. But I'm just trying to break the bubble she's living in. It sounds like she needs it. Sometimes, you're not helping a person by babying them and making it seem like their behaviour is normal.

  3. Jjust do these fews things DAILY, for sometime..

    1- say istaghfar 100 times daily [ barely takes a few minutes].
    2- recite durood sharif [any salawat] few times daily. eg durood -e- ibrahim
    3- Excercise daily. According to research, excercising release happy hormones. you will be happy!
    4- Do simple meditation daily. Its very easy, and it changes your brain drastically!

    As for marriage, Insha Allah it will happen when the time is right. But first work on yourself. You will be a mother soon after marriage, your future kids would need a healthy and happy mom. Best of luck

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